


Chatterbox Full of Avengers

by GeorgeCantWrite



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Chatting & Messaging, Group chat, Kind of Clint Barton centric, Multi, Queer Character(s), Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-17 05:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12358584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorgeCantWrite/pseuds/GeorgeCantWrite
Summary: College/University AU of the Avengers and their lives of being queer and hating the education system.





	1. Welcome to the Jungle

**Author's Note:**

> I do not live in America and have no idea how college/uni works over there, so just a heads up.

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor _  
__

_**Borbs** __\- Clint_  
_ _

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[6:22 am]

**Borbs:** wake up motherfuckers it's time to shine

**Falcon Punch:** Clint it's Saturday

**Falcon Punch** : wtf are you doing up now

**Borbs:** regretting life

**Borbs:** clearly.

**Patriotism:** Clint go back to bed.

**Borbs:** why you two are up

**Falcon Punch:** that's because we go running.

**TenDollarWhore:** why tf would you bother to go running at like half six in the morning???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**Russian Red:** actually steve and sam get up at about 5, meet up at 5:30 and then go running.

**TenDollarWhore:** why would you do that??????????????????????????????

**Green Giant** : because they actually do stuff?

**Borbs:** rip u guys.

**Russian Red:** clint why are you up at this time?

**Borbs:** cant i just wake up at a resonable time?

**Patroitism:** No.

**Falcon Punch:** no

**TenDollarWhore:** nope

**Russian Red:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**Borbs:** Wow thanks for the motivation gays

**Borbs:** *guys

**Thunder Thighs:** same thing

**Russian Red:** True.

**Borbs:** ok but theres a new guy and he looks good and i wanna cry

**Borbs:** i dont wanna leave my room ever

**Green Giants:** climb out your window.

**Borbs:** ok that was one time

**Russian Red has sent 10 attachments to chat!**

**Borbs:** ok it was 10 times but thats not the point.

**Falcon Punch:** im outside your dorm area waiting for you to climb out

**Borbs:** im not going to climb out of my room

[6:45 am]

**Borbs:** im goingt to climb out of my room.

**Patriotism:** You are so lucky that you didn't fall.

**Borbs:** true.

**Thunder Thighs:** I am sure sam would have caught you

**Falcon Punch:** i think you mean videoed it.

**Green Giant:** i mean same

**TenDollarWhore:** it would've been funny

**Borbs:** shut up

**Borbs:** this is why i dont trust you guys

**Falcon Punch:** well we all know that if it were oppoiste you would have done the same thing

**Russian Red:** actually I'm sure he would've just walked off and gone in search of some coffee

**Borbs:** ture.

**Borbs:** fuck

**Borbs:** *true

**Patriotism:** so proud.


	2. Little thing called not being a fucking fail, Clint Barton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have done this chapter about six times now and it hasn't saved it properly so here's hoping to me posting now will work.

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

**_Borbs_ ** _\- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[3:45 pm]

**Borbs:** shit gays the hot dude is outside the hallway to my dorm

**Russian Red:** and?

**Thunder Thighs:** Would you like me to come over and be a distraction?

**TenDollarWhore:** Thor, sweetie, you're a distraction just by breathing

**TenDollarWhore:** And i mean that in a good way 

**Green Giant:** no one commenting on the fact clint put gays again?

**Falcon Punch:** i was going to but waited to see if anyone else did.

**Russian Red:** want me to take the guy out?

**Borbs:** no. nat no

**Patriotism:** Literally just walk past him. Not that hard.

**Russian Red:** i'm betting hes popped a boner

**Borbs:** lemme tell you that THAT was one time and i was like 12

**TenDollarWhore:** nat send me the info on that

**Thunder Thighs:** sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[4:00 pm]

**Borbs:** fuck my life thor literally just came and swung me over his shoulder fireman style and took me to my dorm and shut me in and im sure hes sat against the door but that scared the shit out of me

**Thunder Thighs:** well i hid your boner even though it was digging into my shoulder.

**Patriotism:** Oh my.

**Thunder Thighs** : im not quite sure it distracted but hey at least clint got to his room without having to see the hot dude who didn't see the boner. I have no idea who hes talking about since every male here looks quite attractive

**Borbs:** if this is some way of trying to get me to reveal who they are you're sorely msitaken. i had about 9 cups of coffee before thor attacked me

**Thunder Thighs:** is it the guy wiht silver hair?

**Borbs:** No.

**Russian Red:** yes it is clint just used correct capitalization and puncutation.

**Borbs:** fkn rood i was doing it for emphasis

**Borbs has sent a gif to chat!**

**Green Giant:** didn't particularly want to be greeted with the josh dude from drake and josh when i get back to my dorm (still havent seen it). also well done clint and kudos to thor for letting the boner dig into his shoulder. bet it was a riveting experience

**TenDollarWhore** : bruce is the best ngl

**Falcon Punch:** ofc it is its brucie bear banner 

**Falcon Punch:** no one knows when hes going to attack. alSO HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN DRAKE AND JOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

**Green Giant:** science nerd. not tv nerd.

**Patriotism:** Well that sums that up. Has Clint managed to get rid of his surprise boner? And is Thor still a doorstop?

**Borbs:** yes and yes. and no i did not jerk off i simply cringed and it went away

**Thunder Thighs:** lol i got the silver dude's number

_**Borbs has left the chat!** _

_**Patriotism has added Borbs to the chat!** _

_**Borbs has left the chat!** _

_**Patriotism has added Borbs to the chat!** _

_**Borbs has left the chat!** _

_**Patriotism has added Borbs to the chat!** _

_**Borbs has left the chat!** _

_**Patriotism has added Borbs to the chat!** _

**Borbs:** wtffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

**Thunder Thighs:** tbf if you must know i said you wanted his number but was too nervous to go up to him.

**Thunder Thighs:** he found it adorable and let me have his number and i am fully prepared to add him to this chat. But for now, clint check ur DMs. 

**Thunder Thighs:** I also noticed he seems to have a bit of a stammer and talks quite fast and sometimes mumbles. it is all very cute and more or less right up clint's street, as it were

**Falcon Punch:** wow that one time thor does what nat usually does

**Russian Red:** i have everyone's numbers what are you talking about? you make it sound like im bad at my job.

**Patriotism:** Morals of this story: Clint can pop a boner at the sight of a silver haired boy. Thor can be a Russian spy if he so chose and Nat is about five million steps ahead of us 24/7.

**Borbs:** hit it on the head cap

**TenDollarWhore:** is that what you did clint?

_**Borbs has left the chat!** _

**Russian Red:** Honestly that was funny.

**Falcon Punch:** but your facial expression didn't change

**Russian Red:** im laughing on the inside

**Russian Red sent a gif to chat!**

**_Patriotism has added Borbs to the chat!_ **

**Green Giant:** i think we all need a bit of sassy sam winchester in our lives

**Borbs:** why the fuck am i friends with you losers?

**Patriotism:** Because you're a special snowfalke like th e rest of us

**Patriotism:** fuck *snowflake

**TenDollarWhore:** same steveeee

**Thunder Thighs:** I think you guys would like the silver haired boy

**Russian Red:** his sister is cute

**Green Giant:** #shipped


	3. Thunderous Thighs

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant -** Bruce_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[1:33 am]

 **Borbs:** ok so first off i always seem to be starting these conversations in chat

 **Borbs:** second (the reason why im acutally bothering u assholes) ok so i got cute guy's name and shit and we were talking and watching films n now hes fallen asleep next to me and not only is this the cutest shit but it is also the scariest.

 **TenDollarWhore** : oh my god

 **TenDollarWhore:** send us a picture please much thank.

 **Borbs:** i am not sending a picture. thats like asking for a picture of u and steeb

 **Patriotism:** well then

 **Falcon Punch:** do i need to sneaky snek into ur dorms to get this picture myself?

**Borbs sent a picture to chat!**

**Borbs:** 1\. i knew you would if i didn/t 2. you would get caught and fury would be fury-ous and 3. im highkey terrified of you and dont particularly want a falcon coming to my dorm at like half one in the morning

 **Borbs:** hes waking up????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? help??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 **Thunder Thighs:** pretend to have fallen asleep too????

 **Patriotism:** Clint?

 **TenDollarWhore:** Clinttttt????????????????????

**Falcon Punch: CLINT YOU MOTHER FUCKER**

**Patriotism:** OK how did you get bold font?

**Falcon Punch: BECAUSE MY LAPTOP IS GLITCHED TO SHIT AND IVE BROKEN THE C A P S B UTT ON F UFKCING HELP**

**TenDollarWhore:** bring it to mine in the morning ill fuck it

 **TenDollarWhore:** SHIT I MEANT FIX IT

 **TenDollarWhore:** FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **Russian Red:** Tony you're a fucking wreck.

 **Borbs:** im back

 **Green Giant:** how did it go?

**Falcon Punch: CLINT WHAT HAPPENED OMG TELL THE SLEEP DEPRIVED FALCON MY BBY HAWK**

**Borbs:** .........................................................

 **Borbs:** so he woke up. which was obvious. he got all flustered and this cute shit and i died and he kept apologising and i told him it was ok and i didnt mind but he said he should leave and that he had overstayed and shit and i did the clingy thing?

**Falcon Punch: IM SO SORRY THIS IS IN CAPS I CANNAE FIX IT BUT WHAT IS THE CLINGY THING IF YOU DONT MIND MY ASKING.**

**Borbs:** nat can explain im going to go sleep.

 **Russian Red:** the clingy thing is just him asking if the SHB (Silver Haired Boy) would stay with him/see him again since Clint has clearly gotten attached to him so now hes worried hes over done it and that hes asked too much too soon.

 **Thunder Thighs:** do not worry clint. I have been talking with SHB and he does like you a lot and is just shy and hasnt had this kind of experience before.

 **Patriotism:** Don't worry, Clint, he clearly likes you and most likely doesn't mind the 'clingy thing'.

 **Borbs:** yeah probably but nerves and anxiety are like nah bruh

 **Borbs:** imma go to bed now fr

 **TenDollarWhore:** with the SHB??

 **Green Giant:** no with a fucking celery

 **Russian Red:** is that ehy you're a green giant? your mom fucked a celery?

 **Green Giant:** its too late/early for this shit nat.

 **Patriotism:** Having a crisis about how your mom fucked a celery and then you popped out is a perfectly good conversation to have at almost 2 in the morning.

 **Thunder Thighs:** i am always surprised at whatever comes from Cap at these early hours of the morning(???)

**Falcon Punch: ITS WORSE WHEN WE'RE UP AT 5 AND MY LAPTOP IS STILL SHIT**

**TenDollarWhore:** p sure id die if i were to get up at that kind of time to go running

 **TenDollarWhore:** i mean getting up at 6 is bad enough for us why get up an hour earlier?

**Falcon Punch: TO MAKE OURSELVES DESTRUCT DUH**

**TenDollarWhore:** ngl it osunds more violent since its in bold and caps

**Falcon Punch: MAYBE STEEB SHOULD HAVE HIS F CK UIN G LAPTOP BREAK AND IT CAN SUIT HIM BETTER**

**TenDollarWhore:** what

**Falcon Punch: HE IS CAP AND HE REMINDS ME OF THE BOLD EAGLE. FITS AND FUCK THIS SHIT IM GOING TO BED**

**Falcon Punch: WHY THE FUCK ARE MY NEIGHBOURS FCUKING**

**Falcon Punch: ITS TOO EARLY FOR THIS FUCKING SHIT**

**Thunder Thighs:** Quite literally.


	4. Arrow to the arm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There's mentions of mental health issues in this chapter and shitty bosses that don't believe in it. It's briefly mentioned so feel free to skip over that part.

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[2:44 am]

 **Falcon Punch:** OK but thank to tony for fixing my useless shit and we've all heard the rumour about the new hot guy right?

 **Russian Red:** Obviously.

 **TenDollarWhore:** no...?

 **Borbs:** dude is goals.

 **Borbs:** like im gonna die kinda goals.

 **Patriotism:** he's my old friend.

 **Falcon Punch:** What.??!!?!??!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Patriotism:** Yeah he's my old friend from Brooklyn before shit hit the fan. He's a good guy. Lotta shit happened to him tho

 **TenDollarWhore:** we're waiting steeb

 **Patriotism:** Insert sighing emoji here. Anyway, when we were younger something bad happened and he ended up losing an arm. He saved me, but at the cost of losing his left arm.

 **Borbs:** is he all right now?

 **Patriotism:** Clint you're gonna get killed one day. Anyway, he's now got a new sort of prosthetic arm? Idk the details, but yeah, he's got a new metal arm I'm guessing and is coming to college.

 **Borbs:** thats handy

 **TenDollarWhore:** Clint how have we not killed u?

 **Russian Red:** he's our charity case

 **Falcon Punch:** true true

 **Thunder Thighs:** Clint is our smol birb who needs to be protected.

 **Green Giant:** guys. its 3 in the fucking morning. go to fucking sleep.

 **Patriotism:** No.

 **Patriotism:** I am past the stage of fatigue into no longer being tired.

 **Green Giant:** get tony to tire you out.

 **Borbs:** and im the bad person

 **TenDollarWhore:** Brucie is tired and says weird shit when hes tired.

 **Thunder Thighs:** And??????????????????????

[7:33 am]

 **Russian Red:** clints been up for like 48 hours hes dying

 **Patriotism:** Wtf, make him go to sleep

 **Borbs:** insomniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **Borbs:** also like every other disorder i have was staying round last night ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Falcon Punch:** The college counsellor not usefull?

 **Borbs:** nt really. They're ok but i cant really talk to them?

 **Green Giant:** you should take some time off college to try and get some form of rest. Even if its a few periodic naps or something, it;ll be better than nothing

 **Russian Red:** we have work today and clint cant phone in sick

 **Borbs:** i'll get fired if i phone in sick or something for the rest of the month

 **Patriotism:** That's harsh, why would they make you do that?

 **Borbs:** they don't believe in mental illnesses.

 **Thunder Thighs:** I will go hammer time on their asses

 **Borbs:** it's fine. if i collapse at work then they'll have to let me go home.

 **Falcon Punch:** still not fair that they won't let you take time off for your health

 **Borbs:** they're literally the only place that will employ me and the pay is just over minimum wage. its either that or get a full time job and quit college but i cant do that

 **Borbs:** yeah no im gonna go because i need a little bit of time to myself so i can calm down

 **TenDollarWhore:** take all the time you need and we're always here if you need to talk face to face or something

 **Borbs:** thanks.

[4:39 pm]

 **Falcon Punch:** psychology lessons are so great -_-

 **Patriotism:** I'd say same but I'm questioning why I took History and Art. Is it too late to change my courses?

 **TenDollarWhore:** you can always get a job as a historian who specailises in art through the ages

 **TenDollarWhore:** or alternatively, you could start selling your art now? like i'd pay u for the art u create

 **Thunder Thighs:** as would I or Jane. Darcy appreciates your art and the - uh - more intimate art

 **TenDollarWhore:** what

 **Patriotism:** Thor that was one time and it was for class

 **Patriotism:** How Darcy got hold of it was terrifying.

 **TenDollarWhore:** has captain america drawn porn???????

 **Russian Red:** steve has stated it's not porn, it's art.

 **Borbs:** same

 **Borbs:** also i have started saying i steve my words.

 **Borbs:** because ya know, you put them in CAP(S)

 **Green Giant:** my professor asked me why i sighed and i'm two rooms away from them

 **Thunder Thighs:** Jane just looked at me like i had shit on her cat.

 **Falcon Punch:** t'challa just looked at me and left.

 **Borbs:** sucks to be all of y'all

 **Borbs:** ok i just got shot with an arow what tf

 **Falcon Punch:** honestly, i shouldn't have laughed as hard as i did

 **Patriotism:** How did you get shot?

 **Patriotism:** Did you fucking shoot yourself? Again?

 **Russian Red:** Wanda Maximoff accidentally shot him.

 **Russian Red:** She was p sorry and looked horrified.

 **Borbs:** Hurt like a bitch but it was fine. I got it out and patched it up

 **Russian Red:** her brother offered to kiss it better

 **Borbs:** And you looked like you were gonna kill him

 **Russian Red:** I'll have you know I found it quite cute. Even if I didn't outwardly express it.

 **Patriotism:** Wait, you mean the SHB is Pietro Maximoff? Wanda's twin brother?

 **Borbs:** I wanna say no, but i should probably say yeah

 **TenDollarWhore:** how many SHBs do you think there are on campus????

 **Patriotism:** IDK. 4? 5?

 **Thunder Thighs:** There's Pietro who's got white-silver hair and Peter who has silver hair.They kinda look similar but they're not?

 **Borbs:** Peter's weird

 **Borbs:** but yeah, pietro ismy sorta boyfriend?

 **Falcon Punch:** cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit where credit is due: the whole Captain America draws porn and "it's not porn it's art" was from Sara_Holmes' What Do You Mean We Left Clint On Mars fic, which I highly recommend.


	5. New guy = hot guy

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[11:28 am]

 **Patriotism:** Bucky is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Thunder Thighs:** ah, that is good. I hope he is well!

 **TenDollarWhore:** whoopee.

 **Borbs:** hope he's ok!

 **Patriotism:** what's wrong tony? And thank you clint n thor! He's fine. A little shaken and tired, but he's ok :)

 **TenDollarWhore:** oh nothing im fine.

 **Russian Red:** yeah if it's nothing, then im not dating Wanda.

 **Thunder Thighs:** And how is it going with Wanda?

 **Borbs:** i can't tell if that's thor throwing shade at tony or genuinely asking

 **Thunder Thighs:** Both, Clint. Both.

 

* * *

 

　

**_Russian Red has created the chat with Green Giant, Thunder Thighs, Falcon Punch, Borbs, Witch of the North and Magic Ore._ **

**_Russian Red has named the chat #STONED._ **

[11:37 am]

 **Magic Ore:** is this about tony and steeb?

 **Thunder Thighs:** probably

 **Borbs:** i would ask how nat got pietro's contact shit but its nat.

 **Falcon Punch:** can i add t'challa?

 **Russian Red:** sure. i don't see why not

_**Falcon Punch has added King to chat!** _

**King:** fucking stony

 **Witch of the North:** funny how t'challa instantly knew what the chat's about.

 **King:** it was either that or this is a group of stoners, but considering the people here, i do not think any of us are stoners.

 **Borbs:** the only high i get is when im in a tree

 **Magic Ore:** I mean same

 **Falcon Punch:** ok. but why is pietro's name magic ore?

 **Magic Ore:** because in games there's a thing called quicksilver. and as far as i was aware, it's a powder or something. and if i put magic powder, ppl would think im a stoner or whatever. so had to go with ore.

 **Magic Ore:** is that ore-right?

 **Witch of the North:** P that was terrible.

 **Magic Ore:** i don't know what you're talking about, it was hilarious.

 **Russian Red:** anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **Russian Red:** stony being shit because steeb's friend is back

 **Borbs:** have u seen steeb's friend?

 **Borbs:** i thought i was queer before

 **Magic Ore:** now extra queer.

 **Borbs:** ye like when i was served they were like "u wanna side order of extra queer with that?"

 **King:** They just looked at you and decided to just fuck you up

 **Magic Ore:** they made me go and do that

 **Falcon Punch:** did not want to have that mental image

 **Magic Ore:** you didn't see that coming?

 **Witch of the North:** fuck off with that stupid catchphrase

 **Magic Ore:** im ace anyway but felt like i should've made that pun.

 **Russian Red:** anyway, we were talking about stony?

 **Thunder Thighs:** i could be a doorstop again?

 **Green Giant:** I could complain to tony about steeb and nat could complain to steeb about tony and the two would probs meet up and then thor could become a doorstop again

 **Witch of the North:** sounds great. Why did Thor become a doorstop in the first place?

 **Thunder Thighs:** Clint wanted to get to his room but was too nervous so i took him and trapped him cos he popped a boner

 **King:** i don't know whether i should be facepalming or laughing

 **Magic Ore:** do both

 **Magic Ore:** why the fuck has my doppelganger just entered my room

 **Falcon Punch:** the Peter Lehnsherr dude? is that how you spell his surname?

 **Russian Red:** probably.

 **Magic Ore:** he just complained about stony and how there's no food in college and fucking l e f t.

 **Magic Ore:** what even the fuck

 **Borbs:** i mean same

 **Magic Ore:** i swear to god if peter quill or peter parker walk itno my room im going to get a flamethrower and burn the fuckers alive

 **King:** zero to 100 real quick

 **Borbs:** he hates the similarities in their names

 **Borbs:** its hilarious.

 **Borbs:** holy fuck the new dude

 **Borbs:** this dude is steeb's friend and hes going to legit kill me.

 **Thunder Thighs:** i am not hiding your boner from him

 **Green Giant:** make clint flaunt it instead

 **Witch of the North:** seems legit.

 **Russian Red:** nah but this guy whoa.

 **Falcon Punch:** so miuch for stony

 **Russian Red:** brucie's plan is a solid. if not i will fucking kill them both

 **King:** i see why clint likes pietro and nat so much

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[12:19 pm]

 **Borbs:** steeb ur friend killed me

 **Patriotism:** About time someone did.

 **TenDollarWhore:** you can't talk to our son like that, asshole

 **Thunder Thighs:** what

 **Patriotism:** thought Nat adopted him

 **Borbs:** have i done something to steeb or ..........?????????????

 **Patriotism:** no.

 **TenDollarWhore:** he's just being stupid

 **Green Giant:** what marvelous timing, tony i need to talk to you.

 **TenDollarWhore:** i take it that means irl private convo, im omw

 **Borbs:** dying


	6. Arm Yourself was added to chat

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

_**King** \- T'Challa_

_**Magic Ore** \- Pietro_

_**Witch of the North** \- Wanda._

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Borbs > Magic Ore

[9:02 pm]

 **Borbs:** steeb's friend is p nice

 **Magic Ore:** right.

 **Borbs:** aint got nothing on you

 **Magic Ore:** i think i needed to hear that, thank you

 **Borbs:** do you want me to come round?

 **Borbs:** I know I'm not the best and I always put my foot in my mouth and all this stupid stuff, but I really do care about you, Pietro.

 **Magic Ore:** I know, don't worry. I knew what I was getting in to when I decided to date your tragic ass. Come over and bring pizza?

 **Borbs:** i have enough money for a small one

 **Magic Ore:** perfect.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Patriotism > Arm Yourself

[9:19 pm]

 **Patriotism:** First off, I fucking hate that user you have, i'm gonna change your nickname at some point

 **Patriotism:** Second - i heard you met Clint.

 **Arm Yourself:** yes i met clit

 **Arm Yourself:** CLINT C L I N T

 **Patriotism:** Super Proud rn

 **Arm Yourself:** it was a typo why tf did autocorrect not correct it? autocorrect is a bigger loser than me lol.

 **Patriotism:** Wow dude.

 **Patriotism:** Anyway, what did you think of Clint? He's like our group mascot and apparently my son. The poor fkn idiot.

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah no he was a p chill dude. Pretty cute

 **Arm Yourself:** he has a nice ass too which is great.

 **Patriotism:** He has a partner

 **Arm Yourself:** and i'm queer

 **Patriotism:**????????????????????????????

 **Arm Yourself:** thought we were stating the obvious.

 **Patriotism:** Shut Up. ANyway, the others have been excited for your arrival

 **Arm Yourself:** i take it there's a butt in there and it's not clint;s?

 **Patriotism:** jesus fucking christ.

 **Patriotism:** No. Tony is jealous, from what Thor's told me and I just idk

 **Arm Yourself:** ok first off, arent you like super fcuking g a y for tony? like so gay it could put me to shame??????????????

 **Patriotism:** I have no idea what you're talking about.

 **Arm Yourself:** second off, since when did you use capital letters and sort of punctuation anyway? thought your typing was like the rest of us? and dont you dare say you wanted to start steve-ing your letters because that means theyre in caps because i will stab you.

 **Patriotism:** literally both you and clint have made that joke rn

 **Arm Yourself:** great minds lol

 **Patriotism:** starting to wonder if you and clint could have been better than him and pietro

 **Arm Yourself:** hold your fukin horses hoe

 **Arm Yourself:** i may need you to take that statement back. He and pietro are perfectly happy and i may only be a little gay for him

**Patriotism sent a photo!**

**Arm Yourself:** i may be hugely gay for the two of them

 **Arm Yourself:** literally carved by the gods those two. hot fukn damn.

 **Patriotism:** wow. ok. imma have to go wtf why is natasha complaining to me about tony?

 **Arm Yourself:** ever thought it might be because the gayness you two produce for each other is crushing everyone else?

 **Patriotism:** fuck off.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #STONED

[9:45 pm]

_**Russian Red added Arm Yourself to chat!** _

**King:** first off i appreciate that username omfg.

 **Thunder Thighs:** I take it Arm Yourself is the infamous Bucky Barnes?

 **Arm Yourself:** youd be correct. take it you two are thor and t'challa and it was natasha who added me?

 **Borbs:** look another russian assassin. that's what foru now?

 **Magic Ore:** me and wanda are not fucking russian assassins

 **Borbs:** becuase youre ace durak. totally russian assassins tho.

 **Arm Yourself:** im not from russia. Lived there for about a year but not born there.

 **Falcon Punch:** so this is the dude that tony is jelly of???!!????????

 **Witch of the North:** no its his twin brother who was locked in the attic since he was a baby

 **Russian Red:** this chat is a fucking mess

 **Arm Yourself:** fyi you hoomams steeb is hella gay for tony. like the fucking rants man.

 **Arm Yourself:** at stupid fuckn hours of the day

 **Arm Yourself:** like i need to sleep steebie, dont need to hear about you struggling with your gayness and possible male castration anxiety

 **Magic Ore:** male castration anxiety?

 **Arm Yourself:** when i can stop the weird smelling of colours thing and had a few hours sleep ill message what it means. something about guys being insecure about their masculinity if i can remember from that stupid fucking film class.

 **King:** you took film?

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah. had to deal with male castration anxiety and existentialism and nihilism for about two years. totally didnt' give me my first existential crisis or anything..

 **Falcon Punch:** i like this dood.

 **Falcon Punch:** t'challa can we keep him?

 **King:** yes he can be our milky son.

 **Arm Yourself:** life goal completed.

 **Thunder Thighs:** I mean that's one way to go about your first conversation with a group of strangers youve never met.

 **Borbs:** hes met me.

 **Thunder Thighs:** Fine let me reiterate.

 **Thunder Thighs:** I mean taht's one way to go about your first conversation with strangers and their weird gay mascot you met and he totally didn't pop a boner when he met you.

 **Borbs:** first off dude that was an accident i didnt mean to pop a boner.

 **Borbs:** second off, that was with pietro

 **Borbs:** buckoo is attractive enough that i probably wouldve if I wasnt like having an ansiety attack at the time lololol

 **Arm Yourself:** anxiety can suck my dick.

 **Magic Ore:** id say and mine but nah.

 **Arm Yourself:** omfg

 **Arm Yourself:** do not judge me but i saw this tumblr post thing and it was a queer thing and it was something about how the two character things were called ace and aro (or something along that variation) and they were like something queer is afoot and the other was like yeah its us

 **Arm Yourself:** and i can just sorta like imagine pietro and clint being those hoomans?

 **Witch of the North:** wow.

 **Russian Red:** i fully support this idea of Pietro and Clint now being called Ace and Aro(/Arrow).

 **Green Giant:** same. also why is fucky not in the fucked chat? is wanda and peitro in it too?

 **Borbs:** i cant remember if the maximoofs are in Fuck but this one is a stony ranty one and then the three would be exposed to raw stony shit.

 **Arm Yourself:** honestly i get rant texts from steeb he probbaly sends most of his wrath at me.

 ** **Russian Red:**** ill add the other russian assassins into Fuck.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[10:04 pm]

_**Russian Red has added Magic Ore, Witch of the North and Arm Yourself to chat!** _

**Magic Ore:** this will be fun.

 **Arm Yourself:** agreed.

 **Green Giant:** _@Falcon Punch_ why is T'Challa not in this chat?

 **Falcon Punch:** hes seen my reactions and doesn't really wanna be part of it. He usually ghosts it by looking at the chat on my phone/laptop.

 **Patriotism:** how did you get buck's user shit?

 **TenDollarWhore:** shes natasha dont question it. also wheres your steebilization?

 **Borbs:** STEEBILIZATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Russian Red:** there goes clints asthma.

 **Russian Red:** stOP WHEEZING CLINT

 **Green Giant:** ever thought of getting his asthma pump thing?

 **Thunder Thighs:** isnt it something like ventolin?

 **Arm Yourself:** ye steeb u had asthma as a kid wtf was your asthama thing called.

 **Patriotism:** guys.

 **Patriotism:** its called an inhaler. fucking hell.

 **Witch of the North:** you fucking wrecks.

 **Magic Ore:** ventolin is the blue one.

 **Arm Yourself:** brown one is for preventation and the blue inhaler is for the actual asthma attack and/or the preventation of them.

 **TenDollarWhore:** how did you know that?

 **Arm Yourself:** google.

 **Borbs:** thanks gays and im alive. VENTOLIN TASTES FUCKING HORRIBLE FYI.

 **Patriotism:** wait youre actually asthmatic?

 **Borbs:** yeah. it doesn't happen all that much but i was already wheezing p badly and then i was laughing at the steebilizatoin thing and that set it off whoops.

 **TenDollarWhore:** hope youre ok dood.

 **Borbs:** im fine now. nat and pietro are being sappy shits. to the extent they can do anyway.

 **Witch of the North:** pietro is shit with sappy shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. nats p good when she tries.

 **Falcon Punch:** and youd know all about that right

**Witch of the North: well she is my girlfriend.**

**Witch of the North: what in the fuck why has my laptop glitched.**

**Falcon Punch:** lol i had that. tony fixed my laptop

 **Green Giant:** not before he said hed fuck it first.

 **TenDollarWhore:** first off that was a typo and i was sleep deprived.

 **TenDollarWhore:** im usually sleep deprived anyway but thats beside the point.

**Patriotism: guys its barely 11. go sleep at a reasonable hour of the night**

**Patriotism: why in the fuck is my laptop breakinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg**

**Witch of the North: i mean same. Tooneee ill pay you to fix my laptop :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))**

**TenDollarWhore:** dont have to pay me. get some food (ill give u the money) while i fix it and we're good.

**Witch of the North: thanks boik love ya**

**Patriotism: what the fuck does boik even meane**

**Witch of the North: its like boi only now its boik. fuck me up boiks.**

**Witch of the North: why the fuck is there a thing downloading called ultron?**

**TenDollarWhore:** CANCEL IT

 **Borbs:** CANCEL ITTTTTT

 **Falcon Punch:** MAKE IT STIOP

**Patriotism: FUCKING STOP IT CANCELLLL**

**Russian Red:** FUCK THE ULTRON VIRUS

 **Green Giant:** STOP THE VIRUS

 **Thunder Thighs:** FUKCING HELL TONY WHY IS THE ULTRON VIRUS STILL AROUND

 **TenDollarWhore:** wanda come to mine rn we need to stAHP THAT ULTRON VIRUS.

**Witch of the North: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ULTRON VIRUS**

**PATRIOTISM: NOT GOOD.**

**Borbs:** it was not good. have tony fix it nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

 **Russian Red:** either that or break your laptop into oblivion.


	7. Trademark gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will ignore how terrible I am at updating things.

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

_**King:** T'Challa_

_**Witch of the North:** Wanda_

_**Magic Ore:** Pietro_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: #STONED

[4:33 am]

 **Green Giant:** WHY THE FUCK IS TONY SO ANNOYING

 **Green Giant:** hes crying over how majestic steebs abs are

 **Green Giant:** and says that he needs to see that shit every day

 **Green Giant:** though says itll kill him but its worth it

 **Borbs:** and im the gay oen in the group

 **Falcon Punch:** scuse u bitch i am the fully gay one. everyone else here is bi or pan or something the fuck else.

 **Falcon Punch:** lookin at u _@Magic Ore_

 **Magic Ore:** why the fuck are you up at half four in themoring im trying to sle epp

 **Magic Ore:** an i to fuck else eben tho i no fukc

 **Borbs:** your english is on point

 **Magic Ore:** im tired and my fucking native language isnt english.

 **Magic Ore:** so pls shutuppppp n lemme sleeo

 **Arm Yourself:** steeb just texted me saying hes so gay

 **Arm Yourself:** then said that i shold never tell anyone i said that cos he has to keep a hetero exampel thign what even fkcuing steeb no

**Arm Yourself sent a photo to chat!**

**King:** is his contaqct name in your phone All American Whore

 **Arm Yourself:** Yessir

 **Russian Red:** should be like 220lb asthmatic

 **Green Giant:** CAN SOMEONE SAVEME FROM TONY

 **Green Giant:** fcuk this bitches

 **Borbs:** oh my god.

 **Magic Ore:** the oh my god is allowed

 **Magic Ore:** why even fkcusxdf hjukliop;[

 **Falcon Punch:**??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/ tell mamamama falcon wtf happened

 **Falcon Punch:** MAMA FALCON THIRSTY FOR SUM GOSSIP HONEEEEEEE

 **King:** sam. its almost 4:45 stfu

 **Magic Ore:** Bruce just kinda like.. jumped out of his building???? but caught onto our windowledge and just ??? crawled in ???? then stole my fUCKING tacos???? bitch wait til i hullk the fuck ottu

 **Magic Ore:** no one eats my fucking tacos

 **Falcon Punch:** THE FUCK U MEANING OUR WINDOWLEDGE???

 **Borbs:** stays in my room now. lot cheaper now we're technically roommates.

 **Arm Yourself:** cute shit

 **Arm Yourself:** ok so how we getting tonee and steebie together? like goat sacrifice? Sacrifice the virgin?

 **Magic Ore:** ill die for the cause.

 **Russian Red:** Guys if we could wait until at least one in the afternoon where we're all awake and half way to functioning then that'd be great.

 **Borbs:** yes good idead.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[2:21 pm]

 **Patriotism:** you how humans

 **TenDollarWhore:** i mean same

 **Witch of the North:** same and in pain

 **Witch of the North:** also thanks again tony for fixing my shit

 **Thunder Thighs:** why are you in pain wanda???

 **Witch of the North:** P E R I O D  C R A M P S  F U C K I N G  S U C K  B A L L S A C K S

 **Russian Red:** am bringing u a hot water bottle and foods bbs

 **Borbs:** wheres my gay i wanna have cute shit like that

 **Arm Yourself:** same tbh

 **Magic Ore:** join us

 **Borbs:** join ussssssssssssssss

 **Patriotism:** so gay

 

* * *

 

 

 

_**Russian Red has created the chat with Thunder Thighs, Green Giant, King Falcon Punch, Patiotism, TenDollarWhore and Witch of the North** _

_**Russian Red has named the chat QuickWinterHawk.** _

[2:32 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** wtf is quickwinterhawk

 **King:** pietro bucky and clint

 **Patriotism:**????????????????????????????????

 **Russian Red:** they're clearly gay for each other

 **Witch of the North:** agreed.

 **Falcon Punch:** we should get them together by christmoos

 **King:** dude its christMOOSE not that satan shit.

 **King:** but yes. get them together in time for the christmoose shit

 **Thunder Thighs:** I think we should avoid Christmas for Clint's sake.

 **TenDollarWhore:** yea true. or maybe we could repalce all the bad shit with new good gayer shit?

 **Patriotism:** nat u kno clint best so really youre leading us into this

 **Russian Red:** ew responsibility

 **Russian Red:** its really shitty to see clint all sad and stuff at christmoose time so maybe this would be a good time to force the three of them to realise they would be better off togeher

 **Falcon Punch:** not to like side track or anything but im mentallly pronouncing that shit as christ, moose. reminds me of crowley from spn but that jsut makes me totally not giggle what with crowley being a demon/king of hell and all that jazz

 **Green Giant:** wow.

 **Patriotism:** fuck should be christ, moose now

 **Russian Red:**.....................

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Fuck

[2:49 pm]

_**Thunder Thighs has changed the group chat to Christ, moose.** _

**Borbs:** that just reminds me of crowrey from spn

 **Magic Ore:** what the fuck ios a crowrey?

 **Arm Yourself:** hes being a twat. its spelt crowley hes just doing padaleski's outtake thing

 **Patriotism:** oml

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: QuickWinterHawk

[2:53 pm]

 **Falcon Punch:** theyre so cute i die

 **Green Giant:** what are your plans, nat?

 **Russian Red:** im open to suggestions atm.

 **Russian Red:** like. its gotta be discreet enough that bucko and pietro dont realise what we're doing but clear enough that clint doesnt have to be outright told because that gat is oblivious af

 **Russian Red:** *gay

 **TenDollarWhore:** we could always talk about how gay we are in newly renamed christ moose and see if they get the hint?? either that or we lowkey drop hints that they should all be together and gay

 **King:** i was going to suggest we have a christmoose party thing like us and our outside probs hetero friends and we could all be happy and shit and then those three are left together?

 **Patriotism:** wont they feel awkward since we're all like just couples and they'd be the first/only possible poly relationship there?

 **Thunder Thighs:** we could go onto the topic of polyamourorous stuff how the fuck do you spell polyamourous?

 **TenDollarWhore:** like that last one?

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[3:09 pm]

 **Patriotism:** gays how do you spell polyamourous?

 **Magic Ore:** its polyamorous loser

 **Arm Yourself:** what were you talking about to get onto the subject of poly steeb?

 **Patriotism:** im looking shit up because i want to educate myself on all things lgbt=

 **Patriotism:** *+

 **Falcon Punch:** same

**_Thunder Thighs added King to the chat!_ **

**King:** no sorry i couldnt stand it any more i need to see how high you ppl go and sam sometimes forgets things

 **Magic Ore:** same w/ clint

 **Witch of the North:** ok but talking about clint

 **Witch of the North:** i made a mistake

 **Borbs:** so did my parents but go on

 **Witch of the North:** so i was going to google your name and lowkey stalk you because over protective sister mode activated..

 **Arm Yourself:** go on?

 **Witch of the North:** and i didn't spell his name right.

 **TenDollarWhore:** i see where this is going

 **Borbs:** i dont????????????????

 **Witch of the North:** so instead of typing in 'clint barton' i accidentlally typed 'clit baton'

 **Witch of the North:** i didnt realise until it was too late but i was on google images

 **Falcon Punch:** i snorted so hard omfggfff

 **Arm Yourself:** i cant breathe oh my fkcuing godd

 **Borbs:**..............................................................

 **Green Giant:** im cryig

 **Thunder Thighs:** so, T'Challa, how do you feel about joinging Christ, moose?

 **King:** i have mixed feelings, ngl.

 **TenDollarWhore:** IM FKCUING WHEEZYING OMFG IMMFKNIN DEAD HALP OHMFG

**_Russian Red has sent a gif to chat!_ **

**Arm Yourself:** Appropriate use of ive fallen and cant ge tup

 **Arm Yourself:** also u ok clint?

 **Borbs:** yea no im just confused as to why wando was googling me

 **Witch of the North:** i was googling you because thats what sibloings do when their siblings get boyfriends or whatevers

 **Magic Ore:** wanda youre so normal

 **Witch of the North:** fuck off

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Homos

[3:22 pm]

 **Arm Yourself:**.......

 **Magic Ore:** ye ik

 **Borbs:** lol lets ignore themmmmmmmm


	8. TenDollarWhore has named the chat NerdCenter!

_**Patriotism** \- Steve_

_**Thunder Thighs** \- Thor_

_**Borbs** \- Clint_

_**TenDollarWhore** \- Tony_

_**Falcon Punch** \- Sam_

_**Russian Red** \- Nat_

_**Green Giant** \- Bruce_

_**King** \- T'Challa_

_**Witch of the North** \- Wanda_

_**Magic Ore** \- Pietro_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[9:22 pm]

 **Green Giant:** what did we say we're doing on chirstmoose?

 **Arm Yourself:** i dont think we disussed anything?

 **Russian Red:** #whoops

 **TenDollarWhore:** we're gonna have a party

 **Borbs:** party..

 **Patriotism:** How do you feel about that Clint? and everyone else in chat who may not haveknwon

 **Arm Yourself:** think i'll just sit alone in my dorm watching home alone

 **Falcon Punch:** Think you mean homolone

 **Falcon Punch:** AAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!111!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **King:** You're a fucking embarrassment Sam.

 **Magic Ore:** what kind of homo party

 **Thunder Thighs:** its not a homo party.

 **Thunder Thighs:** much.

 **TenDollarWhore:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **TenDollarWhore:** well since christmoose/christ,moose is just aound the corner, we were thikning that we have a party cos festivities

 **Witch of the North:** me and pietro aren't really christians and dont really celebrate xmas

 **Magic Ore:** but dont let that stop you from giving us stuff

 **Borbs:** omfg

 **Arm Yourself:** wow.

 **Green Giant:** tbh that was funny

 **Russian Red:** PARTY GUSY

 **Patriotism:** okokokokok so the patry will be on the 20th and its gonna be us and any of our other friends outside this group

 **Borbs:** do i have to bring kate?

 **Russian Red:** you dont hbave to but i will be asking her to come anyway.

 **Borbs:** shes like 12

 **Magic Ore:** d00d. shes like a few months/a year younger than you.

 **King:** who is this kate? will i like her?

 **Patriotism:** shes female hawkeye and is p good and badass but clint has accidentally influenced her

 **Borbs:** me and katie kate were only arrested 16 times last yaer

 **King:** i think i like this katie kate already

 **Falcon Punch:** id say she'd kill u for calling her that but when she meets you i think you'll be the only person she'll let call her that

 **Falcon Punch:** i think i fucked up on the grammar or whatever the fuck but im too tired to care and you probably dgot the point i was trying to get across

 **Thunder Thighs:** welp

 **Magic Ore:** literally can peter lehnershitface get o u t o f m y f u c k i n g r o o m

 **Magic Ore:** GO YOU BELLEND

 **Magic Ore:** whoops voice note thingie was on

 **Arm Yourself:** honestly iconic

 **King:** what did he want?

 **Magic Ore:** he fucking stole my twinkiie. the lil bitch. hold on

 **Borbs:** has pietro gone to steal it back?

 **Green Giant:** omfg i have eyes on the situation.

 **TenDollarWhore:** i hope youre filming

 **Green Giant:** wtf do you take me for?

 **Falcon Punch:** WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING BRUCIE BEAR

 **TenDollarWhore:** NO BODY CALLS BRUCEIE BEAR BRUCIE BEAR BUT ME BIATCH

 **King:** thats by boyfriend youre fuckin talkin to you lil bitch

Green Giant has added a video to the chat!

 **Magic Ore:** oh fuk

 **Patriotism:** that was a magestic video

 **Patriotism:** i have that now saved onto my phone.

 **Arm Yourself:** my depression has been momentarliy cured

 **Borbs:** same.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: #STONED

[9:58 pm]

 **Borbs:** i take it we're supposed to MAKE STONY A THING

 **Borbs:** whoops accidentally steebilized my words

 **Falcon Punch:** ngl i find the whol steebilization thing hilarious. esp when im tired af

 **Russian Red:** well, at the chist, moose party we can push them into a cupboard and get them together that way.

 **Thunder Thighs:** we can just flat out tell them that they like each other/get recordings of them admitting it and then showing them and hoping they dont like get angry at us/each other and just like get together.

 **Green Giant: s** eems like a solid plan

 **Green Giant:** fuck tony wants to know what im doing on my laptop

 **Green Giant:** awkwardlyu told him im lookign at porn

 **Green Giant:** he asked what kind

 **Green Giant: w** hat the fuck is this chat

Thunder Thighs has removed Green Giant from the chat!

 **Borbs:** fuck that was close

 **King:** this wont end badly

 **Falcon Punch:** worse comes to worse, we lie and dont let them know we have a stony chat about them.

 **Arm Yourself:** steeb just asked about the chat??

 **Arm Yourself:** told him i dont know shit because im an amnesiac with a metal arm

 **Arm Yourself:** he didn't find it funny.

 **Witch of the North:** thats cos steeb is like a 100 y/o in the body of a 220lb asthmatic.

 **Magic Ore:** tell him i think hes an all american whore.

 **Arm Yourself:** will do

 **Arm Yourself:** he punched me and walked off

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[10:08 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** wtf is #stoned?

 **Thunder Thighs:** anticlimatic.

 **Russian Red:** wow

 **Witch of the North:** in other words, ive managed to get a place for the party, have gotten invites out for everyone we know/whatever else humans and it's booked for the 20th. ive got music, food and drink sorted and p much everything else.

 **Magic Ore:** how are you so organised?

 **Witch of the North:** coping mechanism??

 **Patriotism:** still its amazing how you managed to get it all sorted out. we're gonna hand out the invites to our friends tomorrow?

 **Borbs:** my only other friend is katie kate who's with me rn so she knows shits happening.

 **Witch of the North:** its in the music hall off campus. the guardians agreed to do music there. starts at 5 and ends at about midnight

 **Borbs:** kate says thanks.

 **TenDollarWhore:** is anyone gonna explain what #stoned is???

 **Patriotism:** they're secretly stoners?

 **Borbs: t** hats only pietro

 **Magic Ore:** bullshit, it'd be you

 **Arm Yourself:** jesus gays, we'd all be stoners

 **Russian Red:** wouldnt be, fuck off

 **King:** me neither. idk what to say about sam tho

 **Falcon Punch:** our marriage is over t'challa

 **King:** oh damn, i am, so heartbroken

 **Falcon Punch:** -_-

 **King:** no, im kidding i love you dont leave me.

 **TenDollarWhore:** need me a relationship like that.

 **Patriotism:** -_-

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Homos

[10:26 pm]

 **Arm Yourself:** honestly im betting steeb and tonee are already together and like had angry sex to realise they should be together.

 **Magic Ore:** ew visual images not needed.

 **Borbs:** agreed to both

 **Arm Yourself:** sorry..? also how does your sister have organisation as a coping mechanism when like everyone else has procrastination and self deprecating jokes as their coping mechanisms?

 **Magic Ore:** shes magic.

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah, clearly.

 **Arm Yourself: w** e still good for the 18th?

 **Borbs:** ye

 **Magic Ore:** of course.

 **Arm Yourself:** :)

 **Borbs:** kate just appeared out of nowhere and asked wtf im smiling at so i kciked her out of the dorm.

 **Borbs:** she doesnt seem happy but yelled that my gay ass is super unbelivably gay.

 **Magic Ore: w** ell she's not wrong.

 **Arm Yourself:** trueture

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Patriotism:

[11:11 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** how're you feelign?

 **Patriotism:** idk. feel like bucky's not telling me something.

 **TenDollarWhore: w** ell youre not telling him soemthing so its even? idk maybe talk to him about it? if hes your best friend he'll tell you. trust is just a key thing and since you two are like the bromance of the ages im sure hell tell you.

 **Patriotism:** yea i guess. thanks tony.

 **TenDollarWhore:** no need to thank me my dude :D

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Green Giant:

[11:13 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** dude im so gay i gotta tell the all american abs dude i lov him

 **Green Giant:** youre literally sat right across from me. you couldve said out loud instad of text.

 **TenDollarWhore:** but u replied so youre equally as lazy

 **TenDollarWhore:** also i think if i talk all that will come out is how much i wanna put melted cheese on steebs abs

 **Green Giant:** youre the weirdest person ive ever fucking met how did rhodey deal with you all his life?

 **TenDollarWhore:** idk lets ask him

 

* * *

 

 

_**TenDollarWhore has created the chat with Green Giant and MetalWarHead!** _

_**TenDollarWhore has named the chat NerdCenter!** _

[11:17 pm]

 **MetalWarHead:** oh this cant be good.

 **TenDollarWhore:** brucie bear wanted to know how you managed to deal with me al your life

 **MetalWarHead: w** ell i mean i got you in trouble for hte most part and helped fuck shit up wiht you so creating destruction and rocket science is the way to go about things.

 **Green Giant:** that usually doesnt end well and im not about the stressful life.

 **TenDollarWhore:** then why did you go into further education?

G **reen Giant:** some kind of self torture i suppose.

 **MetalWarHead:** worst kind of self torture. but then again we both have to deal with tony crying over WHole American Hot Abs

 **Green Giant:** omg he tells you about how much he loves steebs abs too??

 **MetalWarHead:** p sure he tels us both at the same time because he has the delight of both of our comapy yeah i spelt that right i cant be btohered changing it properlu

 **MetalWarHead:** my spelling and grammar is the best cant you tell

 **Green Giant:** yeah sure why not

 **TenDollarWhore:** these are the peopel i decide to spend my time on.

 **TenDollarWhore:** zero regrets.

 **MetalWarHead: s** hu8t up loser. i still wanna go to the so straihgt party.

 **MetalWarHead:** jesus crhsit im so gay i cant even spell straight.

 **MetalWarHead: w** ait

 **TenDollarWhore:** bruce jsut did the most ugliest snort ive ever witnessed that was glorious fuck steeb im gonna marry bruce.

 **Green Giant:** i think the fuck not. after all this youre getting married to the american idol even if it kills me

 **MetalWarHead:** tbhj it probably will and jesus i cant fuking type why am i such a failure

 **TenDollarWhore:** youre too busy literally learning rocket science to be bothered by the petty thigns like typing

 **Green Giant:** ah yes, because that wont have repercussions when creating rockest and whatever else the fuck you do involving rocket science.

 **MetalWarHead:** ohonestly this course is a blur i have no clue as to what the fkcu is going on i just wanna have a taco or a chimichanga or however you spellit but wade always steals them with the peter parker dude.

 **Green Giant:** which peter is that one? is that the pietro impersonator or the guaridans one?

 **MetalWarHead:** neither its the kid thats always in red and blue and has that spider tattoo on his arm.

 **MetalWarHead:** hes in my lessons and has a crush on tony

 **TenDollarWhore:** dloeshe fuck. he knows my ass is for the good captain only

MetalWarHead and Green Giant took a screenshot!

 **TenDollarWhore:** well fucknuggets. im going to bed. ngiht bitches.

 **Green Giant:** the fucker smacked me on the head. that hurt the btich.

 **MetalWarHead:** dont hulk out. eat a cake. does tony still have those cherry flavoured mini pies?

 **Green Giant:** yes.?

 **Green Giant:** ooh wait i see where youre oging with that. imma go eat them and burn them. maybe not in that order. idk i havent made my mind up yet.

 **MetalWarHead:** i think you need to go to bed too.

 **Green Giant:** probably a good idea. night rhodey

 **MetalWarHead:** night brucie bear

 **TenDollarWhore:** its only mE WHO GETS TO CALL MY BBY BRUCIE BEAR BRUCIE BEAR

 **MetalWarHead:** riight. night tones. get some rest, you need some before you go on and devour the good captain for us

 **Green Giant:** yes do it and do the country proud by fucking its ultimate american.

 **TenDollarWhore:** not what i expected you to say but im trying to.

 **MetalWarHead:** jesus christ you losers go to B E D

 **TenDollarWhore:** technically im already in bed.

 **MetalWarHead:** let me reiterate. go the f u C K to s l E E P

 **Green Giant:** i feel sorry for your sanity and inm off to sleep and eat all the pies because i have no self control

 **TenDollarWhore:** better not be my pies, fucker.

 **Green Giant:** we'll find out in the moring if i ide or not from this shit.


	9. TenDollarWhore has removed MetalWarHead from the chat!

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _\- Rhodey_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[4:22 am]

 **Magic Ore:** what is sleep

 **Thunder Thighs:** idk I mean you probably gotta ask someone who isn’t an amnesiac

 **Green Giant:** … don’t you mean insomniac?

 **Thunder Thighs:** that’s what I put

 **Thunder Thighs:** oh wait

 **TenDollarWhore:** so proud of you rn.

 **Patriotism:** There are times where I re-evaluate my life and the choices ive made. This is one of those times.

 **Borbs:** tbf it is like half 4 in the morning, of course we’re going to confuse words. I do.

 **Magic Ore:** you do that in general. Yesterday when Coulson wanted to talk to you he said ‘do you have a sec’ and you responded with ‘I have lots of secs’

 **Borbs:** I cant ever look at Coulson ever again ik. Im gonna go live under a rock

 **Arm Yourself:** honestly same. That being said. I need maintenance on my arm and youd probably not help it. You wrapped it in tinsel the other day

 **Russian Red:** welp.

 **King:** guys sometimes other people need sleep. Now go the fuck to sleep

 **TenDollarWhore:** funny that’s what rhodey said but im still up

 **Green Giant:** tahts because youre irresponsible and is also an imsoncian and great spelling me.

 **Falcon Punch:** simply the best

 **Borbs:** betTER THAN ALL THE REST

 **Thunder Thighs:** talking about rest, I suggest you lot go and have some

 **King:** that was smooth ngl

 **Falcon Punch:** hes smooth anyway I think it just took him a moment to wake up properly

 **TenDollarWhore:** honestly same

 **Witch of the North:** still cant believe clint told Coulson he has lots of sex

 **Borbs:** im not the smartest, ok?

 **Magic Ore:** debatable. Youre p smart when youre not like, dead.

 **Arm Yourself:** agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: QuickWinterHawk

[4:37 am]

 **Patriotism:** ok but if they aren’t dating by the end of the year im going to rip my eyes out

 **Falcon Punch:** me too.

 **Thunder Thighs:** the gayness is overloading my senses.

 **TenDollarWhore:** thought I was gay but nooooooooooooooooooo these gays are like raising the bar for levels of gyanesss

 **Witch of the North:** its them, its bound to happen.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[1:23 pm]

 **Patriotism:** oh my good fuck

 **TenDollarWhore:**????????????????????

 **Patriotism:** so me and bucky share a class

 **Arm Yourself:** id say im sorry but im not

 **King:** what did you do

 **Patriotism:** “we’re gonna watch a film which may not be appropriate for some, has anyone got an aversion to swearing?” – Hill. “fuck no,” – bucky.

 **Magic Ore:** I just did a really ugly snort oh my fuck

 **Witch of the North:** can confirm it was a really ugly snort

 **Witch of the North:** id say I thought there was a pig in the room with us, but he’s a pig anyway

 **TenDollarWhore:** omfg u savage I lov

 **Russian Red:** the best.

 **Green Giant:** ok but appropriate response, I applaud you bucky

 **Thunder Thighs:** agreed. Myself, Jane and Darcy found this highly amusing.

 **Patriotism:** honestly im surprised hill didn’t kill bucky but she looked more surprised that he actually spoke in lesson

 **King:** I take it that bucky doesn’t usually speak in lessons?

 **Arm Yourself:** im literally right here

 **Patriotism:** no. kinda just evil-murder-eyes everyone and stays silent. Was kinda weird but funny so eh.

 **Borbs:** bless buckbuck. But same dude who tf talks in lessons?

 **Arm Yourself:** _@Patriotism_ does

 **Patriotism:** was the @ necessary

 **Magic Ore:** fuck yeah

 **TenDollarWhore:** gays im adding rhodey

 **Borbs:** ay the other jaymes

 **Magic Ore:** what the fuck is that spelling

 **Borbs:** … typo? …. don’t attack me im innocent.

**_TenDollarWhore has added MetalWarHead to the chat!_ **

**MetalWarHead:** oh god why

 **MetalWarHead:** hold on

**MetalWarHead has sent a screenshot to chat!**

**_TenDollarWhore has removed MetalWarHead from the chat!_ **

**Borbs:** omfg

 **Witch of the North:** wow.

**_TenDollarWhore has left the chat!_ **

**Patriotism:** imma go talk to him.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #STONED

[1:37 pm]

 **Russian Red:** whY DIDN’T WE THINK TO GET RHODEY IN ON THIS SHIT? HES LITERALLY TONYS BEST FRIEND FUCK ME

 **Witch of the North:** later if youre up for it

 **Magic Ore:** I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MY SISTERS SEX LIFE

 **Witch of the North:** its only because you literally do not have one

**_Russian Red has added MetalWarHead to the chat!_ **

**Borbs:** we’re literally all dumb af

 **MetalWarHead:** of course

 **Borbs:** but wasn’t that why we were having the party? Or did I dream that up?

 **Russian Red:** yes u loser.

 **Borbs:** fair dos..? does? Idfk u know what im trying to say.

 **Magic Ore:** you literally said the different pronunciations out loud jesus.

 **Arm Yourself:** can confirm

 **Arm Yourself:** special child.

 **Green Giant:** tony is crying what the fuc

 **Green Giant:** IF STEEB HAS UPSET TONY I WILL LITERALLY RIP HIS VOCAL CHORDS OUT

 **Borbs:** hes hulking out. Bucko is steeb saying anything ot you?

 **Arm Yourself:** nope. Ignoring me the bitch.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Patriotism:

[1:36 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** im so sorry

 **TenDollarWhore:** i mean it. I didn’t mean for rhodey to put that in the main chat, he just did it

 **Patriotism:** im not mad at oyu. Just .. idk?

 **TenDollarWhore:** oh.

 **Patriotism:** I mean, idk how to react? Tbh this has never happened before and im trying to figure out how to deal with this?

 **TenDollarWhore:** guess knowing one of your friends has a massive crush on you and shit like that is a big thing to take in esp after all the support ive tried to give you

 **Patriotism:** yh..

 **Patriotism:** is it ok if I just go and think this over for a bit? Im just kinda taken by surprise and need a moment or two to get my head around it

 **TenDollarWhore:** yeah that’s perfectly fine and its ok, its all my fault

 **Patriotism:** tony, none of this is your fault, you don’t have to blame yourself for everything esp things you cant control.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Green Giant > Arm Yourself

[1:45 pm]

 **Green Giant:** sat with tony eating ice cream beause hes sad and crying and hes told me that steve just needs to get his head around this shit

 **Arm Yourself:** steve is thick as fuck when it comes to emotional shit. Im over at his trying to get it through his head that yes tony likes him and yes he does like him back.

 **Arm Yourself:** oh great, now hes crying fuck me

 **Green Giant:** our best friends are idiot saps right?

 **Arm Yourself:** oh fuck yeah.

 **Green Giant:** cant wait for them to get together tbfh. Im so stressed and annoyed at them like Christ.

 **Green Giant:** Tony is starting to fall asleep but he has a spoon full of ice cream in his mouth. What do.

 **Arm Yourself:** get photos duh

 **Arm Yourself:** and send them to me because who expects us to talk right?

 **Green Giant:** I like the way you think.

 **Arm Yourself:** you and like three others

 **Green Giant:** nah youre a cool dude friend. Im sure other people like you and how your brain works

 **Arm Yourself:** eh. Ah steeb is saying that he’s gonna head to bed and think things over then for the morning apparently.

 **Green Giant:** ah ok. Tonys fallen asleep rn and ive taken many hpotgs of him asleep with melting ice cream coming out of his mouth and yep the spoon just fell

 **Arm Yourself:** lol

**_Green Giant sent Arm Yourself a photo!_ **

**Arm Yourself:** well me too tony. Think we’ve all been there.

 **Green Giant:** really? Care to share for the class

 **Arm Yourself:** idk I mean its just some guy(s) that I like that I feel like I don’t have a chance with despite having a constant reassurance of worth. whoops. #collegelife

 **Green Giant:** ah im sure that whoever it is that you like returns their feelings.

 **Arm Yourself:** thanks dude. Go and get some sleep, yeah? Youll have your hands full with tony tomorrow.

 **Green Giant:** yeah true. ngiht dude


	10. Sleep Deprived Nerds

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

**_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

**_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

**_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

**_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

**_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

**_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

**_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

**_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

**_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

**_MetalWarHead_ ** _\- Rhodey_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > MetalWarHead

[10:27 am]

**TenDollarWhore:** cant believe you did that last night

**MetalWarHead:** I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you tbh

**TenDollarWhore:** youre talking to someone who worries too much

**TenDollarWhore:** like my life is over

**MetalWarHead:** insert whip noise here

**TenDollarWhore:** I hate you

**MetalWarHead:** no you don’t

**TenDollarWhore:** debatable at this moment in time ngl

**MetalWarHead:** r00d

**TenDollarWhore:** rip sucks to b u

**MetalWarHead:** le sigh

**MetalWarHead:** srsly tho the fucker hasnt replied to you yet???

**TenDollarWhore:** insert shrug here but whatever

**TenDollarWhore:** I can live with not being good enough

**MetalWarHead:** why do I have to do everything myself.

**TenDollarWhore:** rhodey?

**TenDollarWhore:** Rhodes???

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: MetalWarHead > Patriotism:

[10:48 am]

**MetalWarHead:** get your head out of your ass and realise youre tits over ass for tony

**MetalWarHead:** god I feel bad for fucky

**MetalWarHead:** we both have to deal with idiot best friends

**Patriotism:** im sorry??

**MetalWarHead:** you fkn heard me you golden retriever boy

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[10:59 am]

**_Green Giant has added MetalWarHead to the chat!_ **

**_Green Giant has added TenDollarWhore to the chat!_ **

**Borbs:** sup gays

**Magic Ore:** literally shut up

**Borbs:** <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

**Arm Yourself:** youre both so gay

**TenDollarWhore:** #mood

**Thunder Thighs:** I haven’t the faintest as to what the fuck is going on but hello puny humans I am drugged

**King:** what?

**Russian Red:** loki broke his arm and hes on some drugs to numb the pain

**Borbs:** ew

**Borbs:** imma go rip my skin off

**Falcon Punch:** loki is a prick

**MetalWarHead:** im sorry but who tf is lobby

**MetalWarHead:** whoops, autocorrect

**Magic Ore:** sometimes autocorrect is a blessing to the earth

**Magic Ore:** loki is thor’s adopted brother but hes a grade A douchebag that can cease wasting oxygen

**Arm Yourself:** he just did a real dick move to our fave borby and we all unanimously dislike him

**Thunder Thighs:** hes less of a dong now but ooo thers a bubberfry

**TenDollarWhore:** do you mean butterfly?

**Thunder Thighs:** its what I asid bitch

**Witch of the North:** Our party is like in a few days, if you could all not be stoned or having pissing matches, that’d be gud k thank bye

**Russian Red:** she muted the chat lmao

**Russian Red:** but seriously, don’t let us down on the aprty, and im aiming this at the loser lurkers in chat atm

**Russian Red:** aka _@Patriotism_

**Patriotism:** yeahyeahyeahyehayeha

**Borbs:** honesly by the end of that it loks like youre saying yehaw

**Arm Yourself:** insert sigh here

**King:** youre all fucking weird why dd I decided to join your losers club?

**Falcon Punch:** cos you want to be eaten by a psycho swerer clown?

**Falcon Punch:** / cos you love me?

**Falcon Punch:** / cos youre a curious cat

**King:** honestly probably all of the above.

**Borbs:** goals

**Magic Ore:** agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Patriotism > TenDollarWhore:

[12:19 pm]

**Patriotism:** k im really nervous about this but you rlly do mean a lot to me but I rlly fkn suck at expressing shit and don’t understand when ive got the potential to having something as good as someone like you but if I haven’t fucked up yet, could we maybe try being in a relationship? But its ok if you don’t wanna cos I mean its also your choice and I feel like im rambling rn and dk wat to do so im just gonna go

**TenDollarWhore:** ok that was a lot to take in

**TenDollarWhore:** ngl that was only slightly overwhelming,

**TenDollarWhore:** admittedly I probably should’ve said something later and not fuck up cos rhodey doesn’t give a shit

**TenDollarWhore:** but yeah, id love to

**Patriotism:** ah, im so glad!

**TenDollarWhore:**


	11. Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies of the delay in updates, but I hope you enjoy!

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

**_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

**_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

**_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

**_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

**_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

**_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

**_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

**_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

**_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

**_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

**_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose:

[1:35 pm]

 **Borbs:** bitches I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **TenDollarWhore:** aren’t u a lucky fucker

 **Borbs:** I mean. Im immediately going to work until the party so :/

 **King:** must suck to be you

 **Borbs:** well youre not wrong

 **Borbs:** I will talk to u assholes at the party bye

 **TenDollarWhore:** poor clint. He needs to get like a better job that isnt ran by dickbags

 **King:** he can be my footrest.

 **Falcon:** that period tho

 **Patriotism:** I mean me too

 **Russian Red:** hes my footrest fuck off

 **Thunder Thighs:** I thought he was my footrest

 **Arm Yourself:** my bitch tho

 **Magic Ore:** lmfao

 **Magic Ore:** im gonna kink shame that

 **Green Giant:** ot3

 **TenDollarWhore:** wat the fuck is ot3? Isnt that the fic site?

 **MetalWarHead:** its when its more than 2 ppl ina relationship. Like otp is one true PAIRING

 **MetalWarHead:** so naturally ot3 is when its three ppl in a realtionshit

 **MetalWarHead:** *ship not shit

 **Arm Yourself:** …

 **MetalWarHead:** what I like my ships

 **Falcon Punch:** I think u should let them sink

 **Magic Ore:** savage

 **Green Giant:** toby what is this fic site?

 **Green Giant:** *tony. Woops

 **TenDollarWhore:** toBY iDk wHO tHis tOBy is tHErE is oNlY TonY

 **Falcon Punch:** are you speakin in that spongeboob meeme?

 **Falcon Punch:** honestl fuck spelling all these words are made up anyway

 **King:** my amazing boyf everyboby

 **King:** hes infected me with his shitty typing

 **Russian Red:** this group is a chat

 **Russian Red:** I meant to put mess but im not wrong that it is a chat

 **TenDollarWhore:** _@Bruce_ just look up AO3 and well done nat that was great

 **Patriotism:** this all just makes me wonder what the arty with be like tonight

 **Thunder Thighs:** hilarious.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Magic Ore > Arm Yourself

[1:49pm]

 **Magic Ore:** how you doing today?

 **Arm Yourself:** idk. Be better if I saw yours and clints faces.

 **Magic Ore:** arent you sweet

 **Arm Yourself:** sweet as pie

 **Arm Yourself:** you ready for the party tonight?

 **Magic Ore:** lmao no

 **Arm Yourself:** haha same

 **Magic Ore:** contrary to popular belief, I dislike parties. like. Theyre ok I gues. But they get dull and nothing rlly happens.

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah I geddit. Least it’s only one night right?

 **Magic Ore:** much rather spend it with you and clint

 **Arm Yourself:** Pietro that was almost smooth

 **Magic Ore:** fuck you talking bout bitch, im smooth as fuck.

 **Magic Ore:** even if I don’t fuck.

 **Arm Yourself:** im so proud.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[7:45 pm]

 **Witch of the North:** im surprised so many ppl have come to the party

 **TenDollarWhore:** I mean. Im here

 **TenDollarWhore:** and of ocurse everyone else here is here

 **King:** I think most ppl are her ebecause of thor and him being on drugs

 **Falcon Punch:** still surprised that loki broke his arm

 **Russian Red:** im not.

 **Green Giant:** of course youre not.

 **Green Giant:** I just.

 **Green Giant:** steeb and tony are there for sure

 **Arm Yourself:** oh. oH.

 **Falcon Punch:** that doesn’t sound good.

 **Green Giant:** I cant unsee what I just witnessed.

 **Witch of the North:** I am honestly not surprised that this shit happened.

 **MetalWarHead:** I found bruce.

 **MetalWarHead:** I um.

 **MetalWarHead:** well I cant unsee it either.

 **Magic Ore:** that is hilarious.

 **Arm Yourself:** _@Pietro_ where are you

 **Magic Ore:** just got there.

 **Arm Yourself:** I see you

 **Magic Ore:** ow. Fucker just punched me

 **Magic Ore:** with the prosthetic.

 **TenDollarWhore:** I am innocent fuck all yall.

 **Russian Red:** pretty sure youre just fucking steeb

 **Thunder Thighs:** mental images not needed.

 **Thunder Thighs:** oh I  just . I just saw a thing.

 **Arm Yourself:** say it and you die.

 **King:** I love seeing white boys fight

 **Falcon Punch:** its so amusing

 **King:** but I think it should be spoken about at some point.

 **King:** for fuck sake. Shuri’s here.

 **Arm Yourself:** Shuri’s awesome

 **King:** maybe. But not when she’s your sister.

[10:26 pm]

 **Borbs:** I am here.

 **Russian Red:** lowkey love how Pietro attack hugged you

 **Thunder Thighs:** im gonna die that was so cute

 **Arm Yourself:** agreed.

 **Patriotism:** hskskshkshskhs

 **Patriotism:** peter lensherr and parker are here

 **Magic Ore:** there can only be one.

 **Borbs:** that is the funniest thing ive ever seen someone help im dying.

 **Arm Yourself:** I videoed it.

 **Borbs:** ayyyyyyyyyyyy

 **MetalWarHead:** lensherr runs quicker than I thought and parker knows parkour im dead.

 **TenDollarWhore:** hes peter parkour

 **Patriotism:** no.

 **Green Giant:** yes.

 **Witch of the North:** Pietro a word.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Witch of the North > Magic Ore

[10:29 pm]

 **Witch of the North:** why did I see you kiss bucky?

 **Magic Ore:**?

 **Witch of the North:** don’t play games with me. I saw you and Bucky basically playing tonsil tennis.

 **Magic Ore:** right..

 **Witch of the North:** im not mad. Does clint know?

 **Magic Ore:** it’s a poly relationship

 **Witch of the North:** aw that’s cute. Im glad that you told me, even if I was a bit pushy with it.

 **Witch of the North:** how come none of you told us?

 **Magic Ore:** didn’t know how to tell you guys.. Clint is nervous in general and has trust issues, Bucky doesn’t know how to tell Steve and I was going to tell you soon. They said I could tell you if that’s what I wanted to do and only if I was comfortable with telling you

 **Magic Ore:** ive not been sure how to tell you. But least you know now yes?

 **Witch of the North:** so long as you’re happy, I don’t care what you’re doing. They havent pressured you into having the ??

 **Magic Ore:** no. they know im ace and don’t ask me to do it. I don’t think they do it anyway?

 **Witch of the North:** that’s sweet of them

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[3:33 am]

 **MetalWarHead:** why are people only now leaving?

 **Witch of the North:** idk but I have the place until 10 am.

 **TenDollarWhore:** i am so tired.

 **TenDollarWhore:** steve is asleep on me

 **TenDollarWhore:** I am either gonna die of happiness or suffocation

 **Borbs:** that’s gay

 **TenDollarWhore:** just like you.

 **Arm Yourself:** same.

 **Magic Ore:** sammmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Borbs:** im heading off to sleep now. I mean. Im dead enough I need rest.

 **Magic Ore:** you have work in like 12 hours hahahha

 **Borbs:** ah fuck don’t remind me

 **Magic Ore:** I better come with, you lost your keys to the flat.

 **Arm Yourself:** I think I have clints keys?

 **Magic Ore:** well done. Feel like helping me take him back?

 **Arm Yourself:** sure

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: QuickWinterHawk

[3:37 am]

 **Russian Red:** ok now they gotta be fucking with us

 **TenDollarWhore:** they gotta be together what the fuck

 **Thunder Thighs:** I ship them someone help I dontwant ym shio to shink

 **King:** I mean me too dude


	12. We Gucci

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belated update, but I hope you all enjoy!

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

 **_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[1:12 pm]

 **Russian Red:** what’s everyone doing

 **TenDollarWhore:** nursing a headache

 **Falcon Punch:** mood

 **King:** shuri is hitting some pots and pans together and wont leave me alone.

 **Arm Yourself:** ive not met your sister but I love her and she is now my sister

 **Green Giant:** isnt she in my science classes?

 **King:** her and peter parker are an unstoppable force

 **Magic Ore:** there can only be one

 **Arm Yourself:** theres only one Pietro. Let him and lensherr fight for the title of peter

 **Magic Ore:** well true

 **Patriotism:** bucky where are you?

 **Arm Yourself:** on a couch

 **Patriotism:** ….. dude.

 **Borbs:** he stayed at mine and peitros place because I was wasted last ngith?

 **Borbs:** fuck me I gotta get ready for work

 **Magic Ore:** you know im ace

 **Arm Yourself:** mood

 **Thunder Thighs:** I mean same.?

 **Witch of the North:** lmao

 **Witch of the North:** but I take it ppl enjoyed the party?

 **MetalWarHead:** yas

 **Russian Red:** indeed

 **King:** shuri has it all on her phone with blackmail.

 **Arm Yourself:** she sounds evil I lov her

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Homos

[1:19 pm]

 **Borbs:** think shuri has footage of you two?

 **Arm Yourself:** im guessing so

 **Magic Ore:** we’re gonna have to come out with it at some point.

 **Magic Ore:** also wanda knows

 **Magic Ore:** she saw us

 **Borbs:** welp

 **Arm Yourself:** I trust your sister not to tell everyone esp without your consent

 **Magic Ore:** true. she will murder you two if you

 **Magic Ore:** she also asked if you guys tried having sex with me or some shit

 **Borbs:** lmao

 **Arm Yourself:** clint here is like the only none ace person in this relationship lmaoooo

 **Magic Ore:** told her you havent anyway n that you prolyl havent done it when ive not been w u

 **Borbs:** don’t need that kinda stuff anyway

 **Arm Yourself:** I sense sentiments happening

 **Borbs:** cos yknow.. my life is complete with you two in it

 **Borbs:** shuut up bucky you know you love it

 **Arm Yourself:** of course I do.

 **Magic Ore:** love you two

 **Borbs:** aww love you

 **Arm Yourself:** <3

 **Arm Yourself:** but real talk. We’re all in the same place why arnt we talking irl?

 **Borbs:** im lazy?

 **Magic Ore:** mood.

 **Arm Yourself:** I have to go back to my place with steeb. But ill come by later if that’s ok?

 **Magic Ore:** its always ok

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[6:42 pm]

 **King:** im still hungover wtf

 **Falcon Punch:** same.

 **Falcon Punch:** me and t’challa havent moved from the bed all day.

 **King:** apart from food and painkillers

 **Red Russian:** me and wanda tho

 **Patriotism:** welp.

 **Magic Ore:** the birdman is busy at work whilst I stay home and look after the kids

 **Green Giant:** bucky?

 **Magic Ore:** ew no.

 **MetalWarHead:** nahhhhhhhh quickwinterhawk is like ot3.

 **TenDollarWhore:** I agree whole heatedly.

 **King:** um

 **TenDollarWhore:** fuck my life. You know what I meant

 **Falcon Punch:** of course we know but its still funny

 **TenDollarWhore:** yall are assholes

 **Green Giant:** tempting to ask how yours is after last night but it’s too early

 **Patriotism:** wtf

 **Arm Yourself:** bruce youre definitely one of my favourite people

 **Russian Red:** wanda is currently dying from laughing so I take it as a win.

 

* * *

 

  

Chat: Christ, moose

[3:33 am]

 **Borbs:** merry xmas u ugly fucks

 **Thunder Thighs:** oh why thank you

 **Russian Red:** I think jane would say thor is the opposite of an ugly fuck

 **Falcon Punch:** Darcy would say that hes not and she doesn’t even fuck thor

 **King:** I mean mood

 **Magic Ore:** hope u have a nice day gays

 **Patriotism:** you and wanda don’t celebrate do you?

 **Witch of the North:** nah but u can still give us stuff if you want.

 **Magic Ore:** well we’ve still gottten u losters stuff but we aint into the whole jeus thing

 **TenDollarWhore:** i mean of course

 **Green Giant:** yalls bette go teh ufkc to sleep a bitch over here is tired

 **Arm Yourself:** mute the chat?

 **Thunder Thighs:** ^^^

 **Borbs:** why would you mute us when u can have a good

 **King:** um clint?

 **Magic Ore:** I think he fell asleep mid messge???

 **Arm Yourself:** oml he has

 **Magic Ore:** that’s so funny

 **Falcon Punch:** I guess we’ll never know what he was trying to tell us.

 

* * *

 

  

Chat: QuickWinterHawk

[3:44 am]

 **Patriotism:** lol

 **Falcon Punch:** why are they such idiots.

 **TenDollarWhore:** idk but like. they gotta be messing with us now.

 **Russian Red:** agreed

 **Thunder Thighs:** wheres wanda? Her and Pietro are like telepathic

 **Witch of the North:** here

 **King:** make your brother realise hes curhsing on the broken white boys and that the broken white boys are curshing on him

 **Witch of the North:** yeah yeah

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Witch of the North > Magic Ore

[4:00 am]

 **Witch of the North:** brother.

 **Magic Ore:** sister

 **Witch of the North:** just thought u should know that we have a gc about you and clint and bucky and how they all ship you and want you all together

**Witch of the North sent a screenshot!**

**Magic Ore:** wow

 **Magic Ore:** lemme send this to the dudes and ill see wtf we’re gonna do bout it

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Homos

[4:02 am]

**Magic Ore sent a screenshot!**

**Magic Ore:** so that’s a thing

 **Borbs:** uhm

 **Arm Yourself:** well that’s definitely something

 **Borbs:** well since theyre wanting it to happen, we could tell them?

 **Magic Ore:** could always wait until new years eve because we’re edgy lil shits?

 **Arm Yourself:** youre the edgy shits round here

 **Borbs:** says the guy who wears leather, has a metal arm and smokes

 **Magic Ore:** *social smoker

 **Arm Yourself:** it was onE TIME

 **Borbs:** right

 **Borbs:** still love you anwya

 **Magic Ore:** me too

 **Arm Yourself:** thanks

 **Magic Ore:** am I good to tell wanda we’re waiting until NYE?

 **Borbs:** ye

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah we Gucci

 **Borbs:** no stop

 **Borbs:** whyyyyyyy

 **Arm Yourself:** cos we Gucci

 **Arm Yourself:** my laptop keeps Steebing Gucci but I don’t wanna steeb it

 **Magic Ore:** cos ur an edgelord.

 **Arm Yourself:** gfy

 **Magic Ore:** u forgetting im literally ace?

 **Arm Yourself:** u forgetting I am too??

 **Borbs:** welp

 **Magic Ore:** don’t worry we still love you clint

 **Arm Yourself:** that we do

 **Arm Yourself:** ive got shit for you two im at the door let me in

 **Borbs:** well done

 **Borbs:** oooOOOooo I like. you both the best


	13. Cinema Gays

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

**_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

**_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

**_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

**_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

**_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

**_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

**_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

**_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

**_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

**_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

**_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Christ, moose

[4:34 am]

**_Arm Yourself has changed the group chat name to Gucci Squad!_ **

**Magic Ore:** fuckn hate u so much

 **Borbs:** sthap with the Gucci

 **Borbs:** fuck my phone corrects it to Stebbs too

 **Witch of the North:** wht ahe fuck?

 **Russian Red:** why guci squad

 **King:** I could buy Gucci right now

 **Falcon Punch:** don’t

 **Witch of the North:** omfg do it

 **Arm Yourself:** if t’challa does this I might just become his bitch

 **Borbs:** … uh I mean sure

 **Falcon Punch:** no that’s already taken by me

 **Falcon Punch:** you can be the dog

 **Falcon Punch:** or the footrest.

 **King:** did it.

 **Green Giant:** you??? Did t???????

 **King:** I could and did buy Gucci right now

 **Magic Ore:** oh my god.

 **Arm Yourself:** t’challa is the Gucci King. Leader of the Gucci Squad.

 **King:** I will not argue with that.

 **TenDollarWhore:** bruce woke me up to say we got a Gucci bitch and a Gucci king.

 **King:** it is I and my little bitch Bucky

 **TenDollarWhore:** did.. did you actually buy Gucci?

**King sent a screenshot to chat!**

**Witch of the North:** oh my god

 **Arm Yourself:** t’challa is my hero.

 **Russian Red:** wait didn’t t’challa and sam call bucky their milky son?

 **Arm Yourself:** I can be their milky son as well as their Gucci bitch

 **Borbs:** well off to therapy I go for that mental iamge

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Russian Red > Witch of the North

[10:22 am]

 **Russian Red:** how are you?

 **Witch of the North:** ….

 **Witch of the North:** I am Gucci.

 **Russian Red:** I want a divorce

 **Russian Red:** lmao jk I love u

 **Witch of the North:** ilyt

 **Russian Red:** do you want to go out today?

 **Witch of the North:** yesssssssssssssssssssss

 **Witch of the North:** can we go to the cinema???????????

 **Russian Red:** yes

 **Russian Red:** I did a quick lil googles and we can watch the Jumanji one or the greatest showman

 **Witch of the North:** both

 **Russian Red:** they’re on at the same time???

 **Witch of the North:** both.

 **Russian Red:** fiiinneee we’ll watch both

 **Russian Red:** aw yissss!

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Russian Red > Borbs

[11:15 am]

 **Russian Red:** clint

 **Borbs:** yes?

 **Russian Red:** so I’ve taken wanda out to the cinema

 **Borbs:** cute

 **Russian Red:** and we’re watching the greatest shownam and stony is here too

 **Russian Red:** they haven’t spotted us yet but

 **Borbs:**??

 **Russian Red:** they’re so fuckin gay

 **Borbs:** mood tbh

 **Russian Red:** but they’re ruining my date with wanda

 **Russian Red:** go kill them for me

 **Borbs:** no why?

 **Russian Red:** because i’m too lazy to do it myself and I’ve got wanda here

 **Borbs:** I am currently enamoured with my boyfriends

 **Russian Red:** I knew you were banging Pietro and bucky

 **Borbs:** actually tey’re both ace so im not technically fucking anyone

 **Borbs:** ps also plz don’t be angry at me for not telling u

 **Russian Red:** meh I’m chill with it. So long as you’re not gonna get hurt.

 **Russian Red:** also I really wanna shovel talk these fuckers

 **Borbs:** nat u don’t have to

 **Russian Red:** I’m gonna shovel talk em

 

* * *

 

 

**_Russian Red has created the chat with Magic Ore and Arm Yourself._ **

**_Russian Red has named the chat shevel telks!_ **

[11:32 am]

 **Russian Red:** listen up fuckos

 **Arm Yourself:** listening

 **Magic Ore:** Да

 **Russian Red:** Clint accidentally let slip that you’re both dating him and I want you hopeless gays to know that if you hurt him, there will be nothing left of you to be buried.

 **Russian Red:** He is a good person, and he’s had shit done to him, but ever since he’s met you two, he’s become a better person and grown out of his shell

 **Russian Red:** so if you two ever hurt him, not only will you have to deal with myself and everyone else in the chat, you’ll also have to deal with him.

 **Magic Ore:** we know about loki. there is no way we could ever imagine hurting him, especially to what extent loki did. we both love him and want him to be happy.

 **Arm Yourself:** Exactly what Pietro said. He means the world to us.

 **Russian Red:** well I’m glad we got this out the way, I’m gonna watch a movie with your sister P, and maybe keep her over for a while

 **Magic Ore:** I did not need to know that and those connotations.

 **Arm Yourself:** ew. What movie are you watching?????

 **Russian Red:** that Jumanji one with the hot ginger girl from doctor who

 **Arm Yourself:** yeah she’s pretty

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squad

[2:22 pm]

 **Witch of the North:** tony and steb are so gay

 **MetalWarHead:** not surprising

 **MetalWarHead:** tony tends to bring out the gay in ppl

 **Borbs:** is that why his girlfriend came out as lesbian?

 **Patriotism:** Oh my

 **Arm Yourself:** you mean that pepper girl?

 **TenDollarWhore:** yes the red hot chilli pepper

 **Arm Yourself:** I fuckn love that band

 **Magic Ore:** bucky’s been playing rhcp since we woke up

 **Magic Ore:** I hate him

 **Arm Yourself:** id say go fuck yourself but ur ace

 **Witch of the North:** mood tbh

 **Borbs:** where my boys

 **Borbs:** wait wrong chat lmao

 **Patriotism:**???????

**_Borbs has left the chat!_ **

**_Thunder Thighs has added Borbs to the chat!_ **

**_Borbs has left the chat!_ **

**TenDollarWhore:** not again..

 **Magic Ore:** lmao

**_Thunder Thighs has added Borbs to the chat!_ **

**_TenDollarWhore has removed leaving the chat for 12 hours!_ **

**Borbs:** aw, tony, no

 **Russian Red:** I mean, now’s as good a time as any

 **Magic Ore:** im Gucci with it

 **Arm Yourself:** same

 **Patriotism:** what is going on

 **Green Giant:** omgf SWH is canon

 **Falcon Punch:** stOP TALKING IN FANFIC TERMS

 **King:** canon can also be for fandoms in general babe

 **Arm Yourself:** sure yeah swh is canon

 **Patriotism:** right..

 **Falcon Punch:** I think that steeb is trying to process and is frozen in shookethness

 **TenDollarWhore:** wait a fuckn second

 **TenDollarWhore:** how did we get form me and steeb being gay to clint, buckbuck and Pietro being together?

 **MetalWarHead:** cos clint didn’t check which chat he put a message in

 **TenDollarWhore:** I mean fair enough. I wanna see the cute trio pics

 **TenDollarWhore:** I was gonna say couples pics but theres three of u

 **TenDollarWhore:** is there a name for a poly relationship with three people?

 **Green Giant:** ot3

 **TenDollarWhore:** where it’s not like that. Like there’s couples and what is the name for three? Trioples?

 **Borbs:** I’ll triople down the stairs

 **Falcon Punch:** t’challa trioppled down the stairs cos shuri is pranking legend

 **King:** she’s an evil little shit and teamed up with peter parker. Guy’s like a spider, appears when you least expect it.

 **Russian Red:** tony is steve ok?

 **Patriotism:** im fine.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Patriotism > Arm Yourself

[2:33 pm]

 **Patriotism:** how come you never told me about you, clint and peitro?

 **Arm Yourself:** idk.

 **Patriotism:** buck, you’re my best friend, I thought you knew you could tell me anything

 **Patriotism:** I know we joked before about gay shit like you joking about the gayness between me and tony and how you thought clint and Pietro were – what was it? – carved by gods. But you could’ve told me, I wouldn’t have been mad or anything

 **Arm Yourself:** I know

 **Arm Yourself:** we just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it cos there’s no other poly relationships around and ppl are still weird about it and so are some queer ppl and we didn’t really wanna be discriminated against during the first few months of the relationshoi

 **Arm Yourself:** and I know youre my friend cos youre my best friend, but I just didn’t wanna tell anyone unless we were all ok with it. I just … if I told you then it made all the possible dangers real and I know me and you protect each other from shit, but now I have to protect you and my guys and if I told you, then that would become a reality.

 **Arm Yourself:** im sorry I didn’t tell you, I truly am, I just didn’t know how to tell you or how you could take it. I know it’s til the end of the line, but sometimes I worry that there’s something I could do to cut that line short.

 **Arm Yourself:** steve?

 **Patriotism:** im outside ur dorm room thing I wanna give u hugs and we can eat cake and talk about our boyfriends

 **Arm Yourself:** I love u

 **Patriotism:** i love u too but can u plx let me in ppl are giving me looks

 **Arm Yourself:** alright alright. We god pizza in the oven

 **Patriotism:** love pizza me omfg


	14. #BORED

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

 **_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 **_ScienceGay_ ** _– Shuri_

 **_ScienceGay2_ ** _– Peter P_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squad

[3:33 am]

 **Thunder Thighs:** Friends, may I ask for your assistance?

 **Green Giant:** sup

 **Thunder Thighs:** My stomach feels weird? Not in the sense of stomach cramps and such, it’s more like nerves?

 **Green Giant:** when do they happen?

 **Thunder Thighs:** I’m not sure. Usually when I see notifications for this chat?

 **Thunder Thighs:** maybe I’m just tired?

 **Green Giant:** maybe it’s because there’s a lot of us and trying to get your word in is difficult sometimes>

 **Green Giant:** *?

 **Green Giant:** wanna dm me instead of being on here?

 **Thunder Thighs:** If that isn’t a hassle

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Thunder Thighs > Green Giant

[3:35 am]

 **Thunder Thighs:** it’s not really something I can explain?

 **Green Giant:** hmm

 **Green Giant:** well, is it happening rn? Even tho ur just talking to me?

 **Thunder Thighs:** yes

 **Green Giant:** that’s a little surprinsing, I wont lie

 **Green Giant:** well, I can only chalk it up to social anxiousness/tiredness/general nervousness. Maybe just try and get some rest for now?

 **Thunder Thighs:** Yes, maybe. Thanks for helping/suggesting whatever it may be

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squad

[12:02 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** literally I don’t know how I feel about petey parkey

 **Magic Ore:** he and peter lensherr are satan spawn

 **King:** you don’t even share their name, you’re ///Pietro//// not //peter//

 **Falcon Punch:** t’challa just sighed so loud and put his phone down im in tears

**_King has added ScienceGay to the chat!_ **

**_ScienceGay has added ScienceGay2 to the chat!_ **

**Borbs:** who the fuck are you

 **Patriotism:** language

 **Borbs:** sorry

 **Borbs:** whom the fuck are you

 **Patriotism:** somehow that’s worse

 **ScienceGay:** tis i

 **ScienceGay:** the almighty Shuri Udaku

 **ScienceGay2:** and your friendly neighbourhood spidey-boik

 **TenDollarWhore:** why are you both called sciencegay

 **ScienceGay:** maybe because we’re both gay?

 **ScienceGay2:** and into science?

 **ScienceGay:** I mean. If we weren’t into science, our usernames would be a lil awkward

 **King:** shuri.

 **ScienceGay:** yis?

 **King:** did you hack into my account just to get yourself and parker into group chat

 **ScienceGay2:** we both wanted to be Gucci and she saw the chat was called Gucci squid so she logged into your account and got us both in

 **ScienceGay:** lol

 **Borbs:** I fkn snorted

 **ScienceGay2:**?????

**_TenDollarWhore has changed the group chat name to Gucci Squid!_ **

**ScienceGay2:** ah.

 **Green Giant:** fuck me that’s a mood

 **Thunder Thighs:** that’s a mood too

 **TenDollarWhore:** :0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 **Witch of the North:** hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

 **Arm Yourself:** welp

 **ScienceGay:** see peter, I told u that this was a good idea

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[12:59 pm]

 **ScienceGay2:** hey me and peter lensherr are not satan spawn _@Magic Ore_

 **Magic Ore:** liar

 **ScienceGay2:** then why do you have the same hair color as him?

 **Witch of the North:** oh no

 **Borbs:** oh no

 **Arm Yourself:** oh no

 **Russian Red:** oh no

 **Green Giant:** oh no

 **Thunder Thighs:** oh no

 **Patriotism:** oh no

 **MetalWarHead:** oh no

 **King:** oh no

 **Falcon Punch:** oh no

 **ScienceGay:** oh no

 **TenDollarWhore:** oh no

 **ScienceGay2:** whats with the oh nos?

 **Borbs:** I hope you can run pal cos you’ve gotta outrun the fastest guy at college

 **ScienceGay2:** ohsbijbe;uvo

 **King:** Shuri?

 **ScienceGay:** I’m already filmning, what do you take me for?

 **Russian Red:** you’re all trash pandas. I understand a lot, except from why you’re all like this

 **Patriotism:** trademark tragic background stories?

 **TenDollarWhore:** I mean

 **TenDollarWhore:** it checks out

**_ScienceGay has sent a video to chat!_ **

**Borbs:** magnicicent

 **Arm Yourself:** magnicicent

 **King:** magnicicent

 **Patriotism:** magnicicent

 **Borbs:** fuck offfffffffff

 **Green Giant:** magnicicent

 **Thunder Thighs:** magnicicent

 **MetalWarHead:** you guys are really scraping the bottom of the barrel for topics arent you

 **Borbs:** I mean.

 **Borbs:** theres other bottoms to scrape

 **Arm Yourself:** fucking loser

 **Magic Ore:** did that sound better in your head?

 **Borbs:** everything sounds better in your head

 **Thunder Thighs:** bet

 **Falcon Punch:** is thor learning new words?

 **Thunder Thighs:** I already know these terms, I simply don’t use them

 **Thunder Thighs:** aside from when I see my father and just yeet a hammer at him

 **Green Giant:** the sound I made wasn’t human

 **TenDollarWhore:** can confirm – hes not human

 **ScienceGay:** science gay number 2, we have work to do

 **ScienceGay2:** bet

 **TenDollarWhore:** what the fuck do you mean by bet

 **ScienceGay:** wig

 **ScienceGay2:** snatched

 **King:** I speak 13 languages and this is not one of them

 **Arm Yourself:** same bitch

 **King:** nah you’re still the Gucci bitch. It’s why im the king

 **Falcon Punch:** prolyl cos ur also crazy rich ad an actual prince?

 **MetalWarHead:** or cos be bought Gucci? And bucky said he’d be hs bitch?

 **Green Giant:** Natasha can confirm – bucky’s t’challa’s Gucci bitch

 **Russian Red:** would you like visual images, video files or text format?

 **Witch of the North:** that’s my girl

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Green Giant

[1:19 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** so what’s up with Thor?

 **Green Giant:** idk?

 **Green Giant:** you gotta give me context tony frend, im like half asleep

 **Green Giant:** make that 2 thirds asleep actually

 **TenDollarWhore:** saw ur messages with him in the gc. He ok?

 **Green Giant:** ah, yeah that right. Idk what’s wrong? Like it could be anxiety? Shit I should’ve said he could talked to jane about that

 **TenDollarWhore:** fuck you didn’t know?

 **Green Giant:** didn’t know what?

 **TenDollarWhore:** uhhhhhh

 **TenDollarWhore:** tldr – jane said the past month had been a bit draining with him and they separated? But theyre still on friendly terms?

 **Green Giant:** and no-one else knows?????

 **TenDollarWhore:** well, you do now. So out of our friendship group, only us two know thor’s single now

 **TenDollarWhore:** I think it was a mutual dumping naywhy dw

 **Green Giant:** what so we chalk this shit up with him feeling weird because he’s now a bit lonelier and doesn’t know how to deal with it?

 **TenDollarWhore:** I physically shrugged

 **TenDollarWhore:** well.jane told me it felt like thor’s heart wasn’t in it? But that she finds it ok because she knows thor better than he knows himself, and that she still wants to be friends with him cos he’s a nice guy (obvs, have you seen him?), but yeah. Drama I guess.

 **TenDollarWhore:** so im just waiting for you to do the Thing™

 **Green Giant:** no™

 **TenDollarWhore:** well not yet obvi

 **TenDollarWhore:** im just sayin now you know you could if you wanted to

 **Green Giant:** thought he was straight™ tho?

 **TenDollarWhore:** I don’t thhink so?

 **TenDollarWhore:** well theres only one way to find out

 **Green Giant:** tony no

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[1:26 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** im doing an experiment – whats everyones sexualities

 **TenDollarWhore:** if you don’t mind

 **Patriotism:** bi

 **Arm Yourself:** bi-ace

 **Magic Ore:** gay ace

 **Russian Red:** lesbian

 **Green Giant:** bi/pan?

 **King:** demi

 **ScienceGay:** pannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 **ScienceGay2:** dunnoooooooooo but ppl are cuuuuuttteeee

 **ScienceGay:** ( _@ScienceGay2_ u and ned)

 **Falcon Punch:** gay? Or smth

 **MetalWarHead:** lets go with queer

 **Borbs:** boys mostly

 **Witch of the North:** flaming saphhic? Girls.

 **Thunder Thighs:** not a clue.

 **TenDollarWhore:** thnx babeses

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Green Giant

[1:29 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** well that didn’t go as planned.

 **Green Giant:** oh well

 **TenDollarWhore:** we’ll get there

 **Green Giant:** its fine

 **TenDollarWhore:** gods now I know how it felt when u had to deal with me pining over steeb

 **Green Giant:** I cannot believe you just said that

 **Green Giant:** you were so much work but it paid off

 **TenDollarWhore:** then it looks like I have my work cut out for me bitch

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: TenDollarWhore > Russian Red

[1:32 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** we have another situation

 **Russian Red:** because thor broke up with jane?

 **TenDollarWhore:** well yes and no.

 **TenDollarWhore:** how did you know they broke up?

 **Russian Red:** thor, jane and darcy

 **TenDollarWhore:** well. It links in to that

 **Russian Red:** what is it?

 **TenDollarWhore:** well. Bruce has a crush on thor.

 **TenDollarWhore:** he’s managed to keep it “at bay” for a while but he noticed thor was upset/a little off

 **Russian Red:** Bruce’s crush on thor was not in my knowledge bank

 **TenDollarWhore:** for once I knew something you didn’t

 **Russian Red:** so you, me and bruce all know that thor is single

 **Russian Red:** question is  - what’s their ship name?

 **TenDollarWhore:** thruce

 **Russian Red:** or Bor cos they’re boring

 **TenDollarWhore:** maybe we should ask the others?

 

* * *

 

 

**_Russian Red has created the chat with Borbs, TenDollarWhore, Patriotism, Falcon Punch, King, Witch of the North, MetalWarHead, Magic Ore, Arm Yourself and ScienceGay!_ **

**_There is no set name for the group chat!_ **

**Russian Red:** thor and bruce are otp.

 **Borbs:** agreed

 **Patriotism:** why isnt parker in this chat?

 **ScienceGay:** because he cannot keep a secret, assuming this is about setting up thor and bruce because theyre pining white boys

 **King:** ^^

 **TenDollarWhore:** wait how many people knew thor and jane broke uo?

 **Patriotism:** what?

 **Witch of the North:** they did?

**_TenDollarWhore has started a poll: [I knew] [I didn’t]_ **

**_Russian Red, TenDollarWhore, King and ScienceGay voted [I knew]_ **

**_Patriotism, Falcon Punch, Arm Yourself, Borbs, Magic Ore, MetalWarHead and Witch of the North voted [I didn’t]_ **

**TenDollarWhore:** well that sums up me fucking up

 **Arm Yourself:** well shit. But did they break up recently?

 **Russian Red:** jane said it felt like his heart wasn’t in it, but that it was cool between them

 **Falcon Punch:** well shit that suggests a gay identity crisis

 **Borbs:** tbf he did say he doesn’t have a clue what his sexuality is inn Squid

 **Arm Yourself:** *Gucci Squid.

 **Arm Yourself:** only the best kind of squid.

 **King:** if we were to try and set htme up together, we should at least wait a month or so for thor to get over the whole getting dumped thing he’s got going on

 **King:** cos if we shoved bruce down his throat then he’d not wanna date him

 **Borbs:** well I got a very different mental image to what you were picturing..

 **Patriotism:** same clint

 **Magic Ore:** whats their ship name?

 **Russian Red:** we’re tied between Bor and Thruce

 **ScienceGay:** go with Bor so that its incognito. When we’re stressed over them because they're oblivious gays, we can say we’re Bored

**_King has set the group chat name to #BORED_ **

**Russian Red:** it’s like #STONED all over again

 **MetalWarHead:** at least this one doesn’t make ti look like we’re stoners

 **Arm Yourself:** no it just makes us look dull

 **Patriotism:** with all the shit that goes down between us? Sweaty we’re the least dull ppl out there

 **Falcon Punch:** can confirm

 **Witch of the North:** no solid plans for team Bored until at least a month ahead then?

 **Russian Red:** yes

 **TenDollarWhore:** but any ideas for the plans to set them up is appreciated

 **MetalWarHead:** can we drop in shit about them tho? Like if we see little moments or quotes or shit between them we can drop them in #BORED?

 **Russian Red:** yes

**_MetalWarHead has sent three pictures to chat!_ **

**Borbs:** oh my god bruce

 **Arm Yourself:** he looks so sweet and innocent and in love.

 **Falcon Punch:** t’challa you better fucking look at me like that

 **King:** I usually do, and like thor, you’re usually not looking at me when I do.

 **TenDollarWhore:** t’challa with the smooth combacks my otp

 **TenDollarWhore:** oh gosh now I realy understand how bruce felt dealing with me

 **TenDollarWhore:** hes asking why im texting whehn the only gc im in is the ones where we’re all in

 **Russian Red:** just tell him it’s a boring chat

 **Borbs:** hshshkskskskskskks


	15. Realisations of a Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had trouble copy pasting this chapter it kept not pasting over half the chapter, which was v annoying

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

 **_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 **_ScienceGay_ ** _– Shuri_

 **_ScienceGay2_ ** _– Peter P_

****

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[9:45 am]

 **TenDollarWhore:** how is everyone now that we’re back at college working hard and progressing?

 **ScienceGay2:** im gonna yeet myself out a window

 **Green Giant:** big mood im gonna do the same in a min

 **Thunder Thighs:** arent u three in the same class?

 **Green Giant:** ye but the seating got changed. tony insnt allowed near me for the rest of the sememster because we were apprently misbehaving last one. im now stuck beside parker

 **ScienceGay:** tough break pal

 **King:** you’ve been hanging around bucky too much

 **ScienceGay:** he is my broken white boy and i have called him White Wolf

 **King:** youre not allowed to adopt bucky hes my white bitch footrest

 **King:** adopt Pietro or clint

 **ScienceGay:** but theyre not my broken white boy wjite fole

 **ScienceGay2:** *broken white wolf boy

 **ScienceGay:** yes. see this is why ur my friend parker

 **ScienceGay2:** glad to be of some use

 **TenDollarWhore:** I really need to sneeze

 **Patriotism:** do it then

 **MetalWarHead:** hes gonna drag it out

 **Patriotism:** fuck I jus t sneezed instead

 **Thunder Thighs:** god bless america

 **Green Giant:** did u just

 **Falcon Punch:** I think he did

 **Falcon Punch:** mama falcon is proud

 **Falcon Punch:** I stan one great big blond norse guy

 **Falcon Punch:** my big boy

 **Witch of the North:** that doesn’t sound right

 **King:** nothing does with sam

 **King:** he’s p stupid rn he had like 29 minuts of sleep last night

 **ScienceGay2:** why specifically 29?

 **King:** because he fell to sleep 29 mintues before his alarm went off

 **Patriotism:** no wonder he looked so dead on his feet when we went running

 **TenDollarWhore:** babe no its cos u made him go running with him at the ass crack of the morning while its fucking snowing

 **Falcon Punch:** I have many regrets and this isnt even one of them

 **Thunder Thighs:** yet.

 **Green Giant:** tony just sneezed so fucking loud t silenced the entire fucking lecture theatre

 **ScienceGay2:** can confirm

 **ScienceGay2:** aso shook

**_ScienceGay2 has sent a video to chat!_ **

**TenDollarWhore:** why were you videoing for that long?

 **ScienceGay2:** I wanted to see how long itd take for u to actually sneeze and then just like blow up from it cos cmon dude that was the loudest ufcking sneez ive ever heard in my

 **ScienceGay2:** shuri how old am i?

 **ScienceGay:** idk

 **ScienceGay:** lets go wiht older thn me

 **ScienceGay2:** it was the loudest fucking sneeze ive heard in the years ive been alive

 **MetalWarHead:** bold of you to assume ur alive

**Thunder Thighs: _this isnt about 2012 is it?_**

**Green Giant:** //how did you get italics?///

**Thunder Thighs: _friends, I am afraid I’ve caught a virus._**

**Green Giant:** you seem weirdly calm over it

**Thunder Thighs: _it’s called TH4n05 and I think its deleting half of everything in my laptop_**

**Green Giant:** friend, just turn off ur laptop and let me and tony fix it

 **Green Giant:** we wont fuck it like he said he would to wanda’s

 **TenDollarWhore:** that was oNE TIME AND I WAS TIRED

 **Thunder Thighs:** im on my phone now but my laptop looks bad

 **Patriotism:** you had a TH4n05 virus?

 **Borbs:** ive heard abt that one

 **Magic Ore:** I think the guardians band got that virus on their stuff last week and it pissed off drax enough that he yeeted his laptop out the window

 **Falcon Punch:** oh I saw that happen good times

 **Thunder Thighs:** when is it good for me to come and bring my laotop around for you two to look at it _@Green Giant @TenDollarWhore_

 **TenDollarWhore:** 7 ish is good

 **Green Giant:** ^^^^

 **Thunder Thighs:** thank you friends

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #BORED

[10:07 am]

 **TenDollarWhore:** trust in me, fellow gays, for i have a plan

 **Borbs:** i have a sneking suspicion that ik what it is

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Green Giant > TenDollarWhore

[6:13 pm]

 **Green Giant:** Dude where are you?

 **Green Giant:** we’re supposed to be fixing thor’s laptop

 **Green Giant:** yknow???? That has the thanos thing????

[6:27 pm]

 **Green Giant:** boi

 **Green Giant:** im gonna start throwing hands when I next see u

 **Green Giant:** ur an acutal asshole

 **Green Giant:** I know ur seeing these messages, ur fucking icon slides down on them

 **Green Giant:** hope ur having fun with steves dick up ur ass btw

 **Green Giant:** idk what u freaks do but have fun?

 **Green Giant:** ur a bitch btw

 **Green Giant:** just a little fyi

[6:54 pm]

 **Green Giant:** ur an asshole

 **Green Giant:** u know how nervous I get

 **Green Giant:** esp around *him*

 **Green Giant:** its gonna be so awkward

 **Green Giant:** ur a dickhead

 **Green Giant:** you better bring home alcohol and some good shit to watch

 **Green Giant:** no porn tho

 **Green Giant:** im already traumatised by what clint showed me

 **Green Giant:** maybe some anime idk. Fullmetal alchemist

 **Green Giant:** brotherhood, not the other shit

 **Green Giant:** brotherhood is actually acruate until that other shite

 **TenDollarWhore:** you watched porn with clint?

 **Green Giant:** is that all youre interested in from all my spam?

 **TenDollarWhore:** you’re gonna be fine, just say I got caught up in something

 **Green Giant:** got caught up in steves ass

 **TenDollarWhore:** was it good porn?

 **Green Giant:** no it was straight

 **TenDollarWhore:** lmao

 **TenDollarWhore:** its 7 hes gonna be there soon. Good luck and maybe get some dick

 **Green Giant:** I hate you

**_TenDollarWhore took two screenshots!_ **

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #BORED

[7:02 pm]

**_TenDollarWhore sent two screenshots to chat!_ **

**Borbs:** I fuckin knew it

 **Falcon Punch:** idndt know clint was actually smart in that sense

 **Falcon Punch:** i mean, ur smart anyway, but since ur oblivious to other shit *COUGH COUGH* I guess I owe u like $20

 **Borbs:** im a broke bitch thnx for the moneyyyyyyyy

 **ScienceGay:** did you really have sex with steve while seeing bruce message u?

 **Patriotism:** it was fun sex

 **Arm Yourself:** a mental image I would have preferred to live without tbh

 **Witch of the North:** mood

 **King:** Bruce actually messaged me

 **Falcon Punch:** are we adopting this white boy?

 **King:** yes I love him. We shall protect him from tony and give him a good shove in the right direction

 **Magic Ore:** honestly my first reaction thought to that was “onto thor’s dick”

 **ScienceGay:** grim

 **Magic Ore:** agree

 **ScienceGay:** so brunnhilde/val just messaged me

 **TenDollarWhore:** whomst?

 **Borbs:** one of thor’s friends

 **TenDollarWhore:** she better not get in the way of my otp

 **Arm Yourself:** she’s thor’s wingwoman

 **Arm Yourself:** she’s also hella gay

 **Witch of the North:** her girlfriend is cute and nice 10/10 good couple

 **Borbs:** shes a nice person. Lowkey alcoholic but other than that she’s fucking cool

 **Borbs:** she threw a knife at loki once

 **Magic Ore:** twice

 **Arm Yourself:** and helped me get the hose on him and set it to power wash on him

 **King:** wonder if loki will ever sotp bein a douchebag?

 **Borbs:** im gonna go with no

**_TenDollarWhore has sent a screenshot to chat!_ **

**TenDollarWhore:** hes gushing again

 **TenDollarWhore:** sorry shuri, what did val message you abt?

 **ScienceGay:** hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

**_ScienceGay has sent four screenshots to chat!_ **

**Russian Red:** aw thor’s have an identity crisis

 **Russian Red:** he doesn’t know that he loves bruce

 **MetalWarHead:** we need to get them together by at least valentines day or some shit

 **Arm Yourself:** mood

 **Falcon Punch:** no I cant any more

 **Falcon Punch:**  BUCKY CLINT PIETRO PLES GET TOGETHER ITS DRIVING US ALL INSANE AND I CANNOT COPE WITH U THREE AND #BORING NOT BEING TOGETHER

 **Magic Ore:** would you believe your eyes

 **Borbs:** if we told u we’d been dating

 **Arm Yourself:** for months

 **Magic Ore:** quite a while actually

 **King:** I think you’ve just killed him.

 **King:** well, you made my life moderately easier now

 **Falcon Punch:** fuck off t’challa and what the fuccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

 **Falcon Punch:** why did tt u tell us

 **TenDollarWhore:** im just glad my OT3 is actually canon

 **Borbs:** well. Im sure thor saw Pietro and bucky kiss ages ago at the party. Wanda and Nat know but I think that’s it?

 **King:** I thought you might be, but don’t really care. Just don’t fuck up my white bitch Gucci footrest

 **Arm Yourself:** didn’t know u cared abt me so much t’challa, my good Gucci king

 **King:** bet.

 **ScienceGay:** 911, I think I just witnessed a murder

 **MetalWarHead:** how are our troubled gay white boys?

 **TenDollarWhore:** I think bruce fixed up his laptop v well

 **TenDollarWhore:** I messaged bruce abt it and he said he hates me, but thor is staying for Bruce’s special noodles whic are actually to die for bruce is an amazing cook I lov him

 **Patriotism:** I thought you likedmy cooking?

 **TenDollarWhore:** oh I do. Just bruce has the best noodles ever

 **Borbs:** can confirm. Bruce is a god when it comes to noodles

 **TenDollarWhore:** when should I go back to my flat?

 **Witch of the North:**???????????/

 **TenDollarWhore:** like

 **TenDollarWhore:** I don’t wanna bother them if I walk in on them cos they cute. But like. I wanna sleep in my bed and not get cramped sleeping in steeb’s bed cos as comfy as it is, steeb is built like The Rock

 **Patriotism:** good to know im the white version of The Rock

 **Borbs:** fuck my life. i took one look at that and thought “the rock could rock my bed any time”

 **Arm Yourself:** I think u ought to come back and get some sleep

 **Borbs:** im working til 11

 **TenDollarWhore:** great, I’ll join u til then <3

 **Borbs:** never fucking send me that heart ever again

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[9:43 pm]

 **Thunder Thighs:** my laptop is still kinda fucked?

 **Green Giant:** we took a break from it and have been eating noodles and watching GOT for the last hour or so

 **ScienceGay2:** aw I want noodles

 **Green Giant:** then come over

 **TenDollarWhore:** NO!

 **King:** don’t you dare

 **Falcon Punch:** SCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOO U FUCKIN DOOOONNNTTTTTT

 **Witch of the North:** no peter dear

 **Russian Red:** not tonight parker

 **Arm Yourself:** no you don’t sticky boi

 **ScienceGay:** go to ned’s, peter. He has noodles and lego

 **MetalWarHead:** no fuck I want lego

 **Magic Ore:** boi no

 **Thunder Thighs:**??????

 **Green Giant:** for fuck sake

 **TenDollarWhore:** spidey boik, come to where clint works, we’ve got pasta and anime porn

 **Green Giant:** ew

 **ScienceGay2:** nah I think im gonna go to ned’s

 **Patriotism:** who’s ned?

 **ScienceGay2:** my boyfriend

 **Borbs:** tony is happy that peter’s got a boyfriend, but is laughing/crying on the floor right now because he’s sad and boring

 **ScienceGay2:** he’s ScienceBi and our friend MJ is ScienceAce

 **Green Giant:** loving all the science

 **Thunder Thighs:** perhaps I should change my user

 **King:** Sam broke hjs phone

 **Patriotism:** holy fuck

 **Arm Yourself:** im in utter awe

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Thunder Thighs > Taser Tiger

[11:12 pm]

 **Thunder Thighs:** darcy, my wonderful friend whom I’ve cherished for many years

 **Taser Tiger:** what u need?

 **Thunder Thighs:** im having a lil struggle my good friend

 **Taser Tiger:** because ur gay for bruce

 **Thunder Thighs:** yes

 **Thunder Thighs:** wait.

 **Thunder Thighs:** how the fuck did you know that?

 **Taser Tiger:** the look on your face when you look at him

 **Taser Tiger:** the way you talk about him

 **Taser Tiger:** also bc jane thought u might be gay for him, gave me said evidence and broke it off with u so that you could sort out your feelings without feeling like u need to be straight to be with her

 **Thunder Thighs:** huh

 **Thunder Thighs:** jane’s great

 **Taser Tiger:** obviously you don’t have to jump the gun for our good boi bruce just yet

 **Taser Tiger:** cos ur allowed to get over jane, think about your sexuality and see what your sexuality may be. Or just don’t put a label on it and just go for whoever has your current fancy

 **Thunder Thighs:** there’s many reasons why I keep you around

 **Thunder Thighs:** this is one of them

 **Taser Tiger:** also bc I tasered u and loki?

 **Thunder Thighs:** especially bc you tasered me and loki


	16. ScienceBan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming to get this chapter out on the 1st, but for some reason it would not save unless I copy-pasted in two lines at a time. So yeah. It's been hell. Hope you enjoy!

**_Patriotism_** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_Green Giant_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

 **_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 **_ScienceGay_ ** _– Shuri_

 **_ScienceGay2_ ** _– Peter P_

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #BORED

[2:23 am]

 **TenDollarWhore:** so bruce is drunk

 **MetalWarHead:** how did you manage that?

 **Borbs:** inconic

 **TenDollarWhore:** well we were doing never have I never and

 **TenDollarWhore:** bruce has done far more than what I ever thought or expected of him

 **TenDollarWhore:** hes actually wasted

 **Magic Ore:** so hes a dirty boi?

 **TenDollarWhore:** we’d been doing shots before it and he v likes cider and some stuff called Woodpecker? Not my classy shit

 **Patriotism:** wtf is woodpecker?

 **TenDollarWhore:** idk but it contains alcohol

 **ScienceGay:** i mean what a mood

 **Falcon Punch:** guys

 **King:** sup bitch

 **Falcon Punch:** thor is asking me for relationship/dating advice

 **Falcon Punch:** wtf does he want from me? Im shit

 **King:** but u bagged me boik

 **Russian Red:** well done. Ask him why he wants dating advice?

 **Falcon Punch:** I did

 **Falcon Punch:** he says he thinks he might like guys and wants somoe advice on that as well as other advice

 **Witch of the North:** he always gave me a bi vibe

 **Arm Yourself:** same

 **Borbs:** maybe he should come to me, Pietro and bucky for advice

 **Magic Ore:** lmao true

 **MetalWarHead:** everyone in our friendship group is a fucking wreck

 **MetalWarHead:** just a little fyi

 **Patriotism:** you say that as if we weren’t already aware of that

 **MetalWarHead:** well true

 **MetalWarHead:** but like

 **MetalWarHead:** I just went over to tony’s and bruces place. And bruce is a wreck

 **TenDollarWhore:** GIUH

 **MetalWarHead:** omg

 **King:** yes. keep us waiting. Bait us.

 **Arm Yourself:** they’re queerbaiting us

 **Magic Ore:** just like TWD with daryl and jesus

 **ScienceGay:** they too chicken to put two white guys together in a relationship bc they think one previous gay relationship with white guys is enough even tho they barely fucking show them

 **ScienceGay:** the comics were better to Aaron and Eric

 **ScienceGay:** don’t get me fucking started on Tara’s disaster lesbian love life

 **Witch of the North:** I love the little gay tangent u went on

 **ScienceGay:** well tony and Rhodey arent gonna tell us wtf bruce just said yet so I thought id fill in the dead silence

 **Arm Yourself:** we stan

 **Borbs:** do you even know what that means?

 **Arm Yourself:** do you?

 **Borbs:** … good point

 **TenDollarWhore:** bruce is asleep rn

 **TenDollarWhore:** but before that, I asked him “never have I ever had a crush on someone in our group” and steeb doesn’t count bc hes my boyfriend. And he was to do a shot for each crush if he did.

 **Falcon Punch:** I lowkey got a feelin I know wtf bruce did but idk the quantity

 **MetalWarHead:** yeah he took about five shots

 **Russian Red:** unsurprising

 **Witch of the North:** did u tell him to say the names of the people the shots were because of ?

 **TenDollarWhore:** you bet your ass I did

 **Falcon Punch:** two of those should be for me.

 **Falcon Punch:** just a lil fyi

 **TenDollarWhore:** Rhodey if u will

 **MetalWarHead:** the first one was clint

 **Magic Ore:** oml

 **MetalWarHead:** the second one was for me bc im awesome

 **MetalWarHead:** the third was t’challa

 **MetalWarHead:** fourth was like. bucky

 **MetalWarHead:** ther was another but the last one was Thor and he took the biggest fucking shot for it, but before he did, he fucking sai its bc hes just so fucking gone for thor that he might as well just knock himself out from alcohol and wake up in Valhalla or something like that

 **ScienceGay:** he should be ScienceBi2

 **King:** is it a username free?

 **TenDollarWhore:** yes

 **Patriotism:** but he did say bi/pan when u asked us all our sexualities so

 **ScienceGay:** ScienceBan

 **Arm Yourself:** Pietro sighed so hard it woke clint up

 **Falcon Punch:** tony for the love of suck. Change it from green giant or whatever the fuck to ScienceBan

 **Arm Yourself:** lol suck

 **Falcon Punch:**??????????

 **Falcon Punch:** ah fuck

 **TenDollarWhore:** ur lucky I know Bruce’s passwords.

 **TenDollarWhore:** goodbye green giant, hello scienceban

 **TenDollarWhore:** he can always change it back and/or change it to sciencebi2 or sciencepan

 **MetalWarHead:** sciencepan is taken by someone called peter lensherr?

 **Magic Ore:** that motherfucker.

 **Magic Ore:** he used to be called quicksilver why the fuck is he called sciencepan now? He doesn’t even do science

 **Arm Yourself:** but apparently he does everyone else.

 **King:** quiet Gucci bitch

 **Arm Yourself:** honestly my first coherent thought at that was yes daddy so im going to hell

 **Witch of the North:** if he is pan he could always have SciencePanorama or something idk

 **Witch of the North:** wow bucky u need jesus

 **Magic Ore:** hes too busy being gay for daryl and the writers wont make it canon

 **Patriotism:** did yall see that fucking shot of rick and daryl and then it got mirrored with Michonne and jesus? Like that’s some undertones of gay

 **Russian Red:** everything has undertones of gay if u look hard enough

 **TenDollarWhore:** esp if they queerbait

 **Borbs:** oogood job fanifc exists then

[5:12 am]

 **Borbs:** HOW DID I NOT REALISE ITS SCIENCEBAN FOR A MIX OF PAN AND BI AND NOT A SHORTHAND FOR BANNER WHAT THE FUCK

 **Magic Ore:** clint go to fucking sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[11:57 am]

 **ScienceBan:** I hate tony so mch

 **ScienceBan:** alcohol is a nono

 **Thunder Thighs:** why were you drinking alcohol, if you don’t mind me asking? :)

 **ScienceBan:** bc soMEONE decided to play never have I ever.

 **Thunder Thighs:** That does sound like fun. Might I ask why your username ID is no longer Green Giant?

 **ScienceBan:** what?

 **ScienceBan:** ffs tony

 **TenDollarWhore:** I heard you shout that im a fucking dickhead what I do?

 **TenDollarWhore:** ah right the scienceban

 **Thunder Thighs:** are you banning science?

 **Patriotism:** except for the gays

 **ScienceGay2:** I heard science and gay being said together what the fuck is up kyle

 **ScienceGay:** step the fuck up kyle

 **King:** they’re at it again

 **Falcon Punch:** lov meh some vines

 **ScienceBan:** why am I scienceban

 **Russian Red:** well the answer is pretty obvious.

 **ScienceBan:** thanks.

 **ScienceGay2:** but now ur part of our sciencequeer shit

 **ScienceGay:** lets add bruce to ScienceQueer.

 **ScienceBan:** there’s a gc for this shit?

 **ScienceGay:** oh of course.

 **ScienceGay2:** theres me and shuri (founders) my bf (ScienceBi) our friend MJ (ScienceAce) and Peter Lensherr (SciencePan)

 **Magic Ore:** I hate him

 **Magic Ore:** does he actually fucking do science?

 **ScienceGay2:** peter? Yeah. Something to do with bioengineering.

 **Magic Ore:** I hate u both

 **Magic Ore:** u two and that fucking guardian.

 **King:** you’ve upset peter now.

 **TenDollarWhore:** nobody insults my son

 **Magic Ore:** bit young to have a son fren

 **Borbs:** _@ScienceGay2_ pietro doesn’t actually hate u he’s just salty that ur name sounds similar to his

 **ScienceGay2:** ye I thought so lmao _@Borbs_

 **Falcon Punch:** what would happen if we threw Quill, Parker, Lensherr and Maximoff into a room and made them fight for the ultimate peter name

 **ScienceGay2:** I’d sit in the rafters and wait tbh

 **King:** not another one

 **Arm Yourself:** oh great another rafter boy

 **Borbs:** ill be in the rafters with u sticky boi and feed u cookies

 **Magic Ore:** where the fuck are my cookies slut?

 **Borbs:** trashcan bc bucky wont let us eat them

 **Witch of the North:** they were out of date weren’t they?

 **Magic Ore:** maybe but that’s besides the point. I want my fucking cookies

 **TenDollarWhore:** are we seeing a domestic take place?

 **Arm Yourself:** P, they were two months out of date. neither of u are eating cookies that are that long out of date

 **ScienceGay2:** you couldve given them to me and shuri for scientific research

 **TenDollarWhore:** and by scientific research you mean eat them and get food poisoning or something stupid like that

 **Thunder Thighs:** but then we’d sciencely find out what happens when you eat 2-month-out-of-date cookies

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: ScienceBan > TenDollarWhore

[12:14 pm]

 **ScienceBan:** sciencely dudde im gona

 **TenDollarWhore:** go fuck him?

 **ScienceBan:** fuck off

 **TenDollarWhore:** I thought that’s what ur gonna do rn?

 **ScienceBan:** u are quite literally satan spawn

 **TenDollarWhore:** I mean. My dad is a dick.

 **ScienceBan:** he is. Ill be ur dad

 **TenDollarWhore:** what u and thor are gonna be my daddies? Wink wink nudge nudge

 **ScienceBan:** I have no clue as to whether im gonna kill u for that or not

 **TenDollarWhore:** you love me anyway binch.

 **ScienceBan:** yeah I do

 **TenDollarWhore:** bruce.

 **ScienceBan:**???

 **TenDollarWhore:** that’s gay

 **ScienceBan:** oh well I never

 **ScienceBan:** its almost as if im on the queer spectrum

 **ScienceBan:** how fucking peculiar.

 **TenDollarWhore:** was there any need for the . at the end of the sentence?

 **ScienceBan:** emphasis.

 **TenDollarWhore:** I just choked

 **ScienceBan:** on steve’s dick?

 **TenDollarWhore:** no shjvbjhbdkvHHAHAOBRU

 **TenDollarWhore:** he choked on mine the other week I was so fucking worried omg im cyring

 **ScienceBan:** I can hear u fucking crying laughing/wheezing are u ok?

 **TenDollarWhore:** poor guy made A Noise and I actually laughed so hard when it happened and omg

 **ScienceBan:** ok I do not need to know about ur love life

 **TenDollarWhore:** its bc u want what I have with steeb but with thor

 **TenDollarWhore:** Did you just break through our fucking wall?

 **ScienceBan:** I think I did?

 **TenDollarWhore:** that’s just the best.

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: #BORED

[12:28 pm]

 **TenDollarWhore:** UIH

 **TenDollarWhore:** vkhj MY DUDES I AM CRYING

 **TenDollarWhore:** SO I WAS TELLLING BRUCE ABOUT THE TIME STEVE CHOKED ON MY DICK

 **Patriotism:** oh my god why were u telling him that

 **Magic Ore:** mental image not needed.

 **Arm Yourself:** steve has a terrible gag reflex why were you doing that to begin with?

 **Arm Yourself:** actually nvm don’t tell me

 **ScienceGay:** why are you crying?

 **King:** There better be a reason for knowing this information

 **TenDollarWhore:** ye there is

 **TenDollarWhore:** so I joked and told bruce that he wants that to happen to him but with thor and he fucking broke the wall

 **TenDollarWhore:** I cant stop crying aaahahhaaha

 **Witch of the North:** why did he break the wall?

 **Falcon Punch:** hOW did he break the wall? Guy’s packing a punch apparently

 **TenDollarWhore:** im not gonna make That joke.

 **Borbs:** omg are you insinuating that bruce is packing? Im dying my boss is gonna fire me for laughing ogmogmgomg

 **Russian Red:** for once, I could have lived without knowing That piece of knowledge.

 **TenDollarWhore:** he only broke it bc he threw like. idk what but it hit the wall and just went straight through?? Living in halls just shows how /shit/ the walls are.

 **TenDollarWhore:** like. I feel like this place is gonna fall apart lmao

 **Arm Yourself:** Pietro is fucking cackling

 **Arm Yourself:** he said that thor and bruce ought to do like a workout regime or whatever and then thor can get gayer from seeing bruce actually being surprisingly stronger than anticipated.

 **TenDollarWhore:** i want to marry ur boyfriend.

 **TenDollarWhore:** not the bird one the other one. hes a genius

 **Patriotism:** I have a feeling that that wont end well

 **Falcon Punch:** whath the BORING workout regime or tony trying to marry peter?

 **Falcon Punch:** *Pietro

 **Patriotism:** Let’s go with both.

 **ScienceGay:** I have a feeling sam is gonna die by pietro’s hans anyway from caling him peter by acident

 **Arm Yourself:** shuri go sleep u sound drunk

 **ScienceGay:** I have been awake for what might be 113 hours. Maybe 133 im not sure a this point.

 **King:** And this is where my role of older brother comes in to play.


	17. Barrel of Acid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry xmas, here's a chapter to show i've not given up on this shit just yet.

**_Patriotism_ ** _– Steve_

 **_Thunder Thighs_ ** _– Thor_

 **_Borbs_ ** _– Clint_

 **_TenDollarWhore_ ** _– Tony_

 **_Falcon Punch_ ** _– Sam_

 **_Russian Red_ ** _– Nat_

 **_ScienceBan_ ** _– Bruce_

 **_King_ ** _– T’Challa_

 **_Witch of the North_ ** _– Wanda_

 **_Magic Ore_ ** _– Pietro_

 **_MetalWarHead_ ** _– Rhodey_

 **_Arm Yourself_ ** _– Bucky_

 **_ScienceGay_ ** _– Shuri_

 **_ScienceGay2_ ** _– Peter P_

* * *

 

 

 

Chat: Witch of the North > Russian Red

[00:01 am]

 **Witch of the North:** happy anniversary u beautiful fucking btich

 **Russian Red:** youre very sentimental

 **Russian Red:** happy anniversary Wanda

 **Witch of the North:** eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee u are not ready for the shit I got planned for us today

 **Witch of the North:** even tho we both have lessons, I am amazing

 **Russian Red:** I don’t even doubt it

 **Russian Red:** I have some things I want to do too & I have something to give to you bc I love you so youre gonna accept it and love me even more

 **Witch of the North:** ur precious I love uuuuuuuuuuuu

 **Russian Red:** go sleep now W, youre gonna need it 😉

 **Witch of the North:** omgf

 

* * *

 

 

Chat: Gucci Squid

[9:49 am]

 **ScienceGay2:** _@Magic Ore_ your sister ran past me with the biggest fucking grin and THE biggest bouqet ive ever fucking seen

 **Magic Ore:** oh yh

 **Magic Ore:** its wanda and nat’s anniversary

 **Magic Ore:** I forgot about that

 **ScienceGay2:** i love and stan them

 **Magic Ore:** whatever that means.

 **ScienceGay2:** how did you forget its their ani?

 **Magic Ore:** idk. I just … forgot

 **Magic Ore:** I mean idk when my ani with C and B is

 **ScienceBan:** how have you forgotten when it is?

 **Arm Yourself:** tbf ive forgotten the date too

 **Borbs:** ditto

 **Borbs:** nat probably knows but she wont be on her phone today unless its to talk dirty to wanda bc they are not Innocent

 **King:** I would like everyone to know that I am with Clint right now and he didn’t know how to spell innocent forwards, but knows how to spell it backwards off the top of his head and wrote it down and forwarded it.

 **Falcon Punch:** can confirm bc im with them too

 **ScienceGay:** clint ur really something else

 **Borbs:** hathanks I think?

 **ScienceGay2:** bucky are you near me rn?

 **Arm Yourself:** literally turn around.

_Arm Yourself has sent a video to the chat!_

**ScienceGay2:** I don’t understand how u were so dead silent wtf

 **Arm Yourself:** im gonna brek someones face lmao

 **Borbs:** hwhy is the murder boyfriend breaking someones face?

 **ScienceGay:** probably flash

 **TenDollarWhore:** ew not him.

 **Patriotism:** is it that kid that just started in a dead sprint when he saw bucky fucking stalking towards him

 **ScienceGay2:** flash is a bit of a twat to me but he knows bucky knows me and he’s coincidentally fucking terrified of bucky. So I gotta use this shit to my advantage sometimes.

 **TenDollarWhore:** bucky stop ruining my innocent son he is to be protected at all costs but not like that

 **TenDollarWhore:** wait its flash that’s fucking with u?

 **ScienceGay2:** ye

 **TenDollarWhore:** bucky break his fucking face

 **Arm Yourself:** he yeeted himself over a fucking fence to avoid me which was hilarious. And I just nearly saw something id rather live without witnessing

 **Magic Ore:** wanda and nat?

 **Arm Yourself:** unfortunately.

 **Arm Yourself:** they just don’t care where they start sucking face what the gud fuck.

 **ScienceGay2:** I wanna make a sex joke but ik ur ace so itd fall kinda flat

 **Arm Yourself:** just like me when I lsot my arm lmao

 **Borbs:** oh my god dude

 **King:** sam looks like he wants to laugh but be concerned at the same time. It’s quite the experience to witness him struggle.

 **Arm Yourself:** making sam struggle is something I find hilarious.

 **King:** I would say something crude, but your petty English language does not have the right words

 **Thunder Thighs:** English is a shit language

 **ScienceGay:** we should just speak in our native languages just to mess with everyone else

 **Borbs:** can I just talk via sign?

 **King:** yes not many people actually know sign apart from the few of our group I guess.

 **Magic Ore:** hes gonna get in trouble now I can tell

 **Arm Yourself:** i can speak russian

 **Patriotism:** dude ur mother taught u Romanian beforehand. We’re both from immigrant parents.

 **Arm Yourself:** they both begin with the letter R fuck off

 **Thunder Thighs:** how did u forget? Also, how many languages do you know, Bucky?

 **Arm Yourself:** a few. Uh. Romanian, russian, English (duh), Italian and something else I can’t remember

 **TenDollarWhore:** finally someone else I can speak Italian to

 **Arm Yourself:** dude last week u got drunk and forgot how to speak English and only spoke to me in Italian. Rhodey was confused as to how I understood u

 **MetalWarHead:** can confirm he knows Italian. It was an Experience seeing Tony and Bucko speak Italian.

 **ScienceGay2:** I would like u guys to appreciate bucky bc he just walked me to my class and let me have a piggy back an it was awesome

 **Borbs:** omg

 **Borbs:** why the fuck does he get to have piggybacks but im not?????

 **Arm Yourself:** bc peter is tiny and must be protected at all costs.

 **Borbs:** fair.

[11:39 am]

 **ScienceGay:** not to change shook (shake???) anyone, but flash just … he exploded the room?

 **ScienceGay2:** can confirm.

 **Thunder Thighs:** how?

 **ScienceGay:** he put chili in a test tube, which was apparently the Wrong Thing To Do.

 **ScienceGay2:** we’re all being evacuated. flash is gonna get yelled at and MJ will prolyl get the footage bc she’s like nat that way.

 **King:** I can get rid of this flash guy.

 **ScienceGay2:** but then where would I get my amusement from when bucky and the rst of u guys terrify him? Natasha n bucky only have to glance at hjim and he goes running

 **Patriotism:** wow ur teacher is really mad.

 **Patriotism:** ive got a free and thought I’d bother u two but that woman sounds so mad and I am Intimidated. would not piss her off

 **Borbs:** why does this guy act like a dick htho

 **ScienceGay:** possibilities. Shit at home/he thinks he’s better than everyone/he doesn’t want competition, among a few.

 **TenDollarWhore:** also the fact that shuri and peter are tied at the top of their classes, and ned and mj are tied second, which pisses flash off.

 **Arm Yourself:** do u want me to turn the flash off?

 **Patriotism:** no murder.

 **Magic Ore:** shame. Would’ve liked to get a use out of hte barrel of acid we have lounging around in our room.

 **ScienceGay2:** do u guys actually have some acid in ur room???????

 **ScienceGay2:** bc me and shuri have some experiments that might need the help of acid.

 **Borbs:** im in come check out our acid.

 **Borbs:** its not the drug acid it is the liquid(?) shit that bruns shit

 **Borbs:** does acid burn

 **Magic Ore:** clINT DO NOT TOUCH THAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GO

 **Arm Yourself:** Clint for the love of Fuck. DO NOT TOUCH

 **Patriotism:** dw me and the ScienceQueers are on our way

 **Patriotism:** I have my own squad of nerdy queers. I feel like I have power.

 **ScienceGay:** You think that but I can only control these science gaybies.


End file.
